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At The End Of It All (for Steven)
At The End Of It All
(for Steven)
once again
I gaze into your eyes
and feel
the soft silken curtain
of night
settle about my face.
the stars in the firmament
cannot out shine
the radiance
in your eyes.
the light that suspends
and upholds me,
keeping me from the pit
of desolation.
my lifeline,
in a harsh world
of uncaring strangers,
whose empty thoughts
are a regurgitation
of a television mentality.
your all encompassing
tenderness,
is my connection
to a better world,
where love is
so much more than
a traders commodity.
to you I pledge
my soul's eternity.
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Jack W. Stanley
Tue, 2022-06-07 16:48
Hi Cat,
The first half is filled with touching imagery of love, while the second part is more abstract, but they form two hemispheres of the same strong emotion.
Great poem!
Jack
Candlewitch
Wed, 2022-06-08 06:17
thank you, Jack,
I'm glad that you enjoyed my poem.
*hugs, Cat
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Geezer
Tue, 2022-06-07 17:25
Outstanding...
I like the almost mystical quality of the first few stanzas! Magic! ~ Geez.
.
It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?
Candlewitch
Wed, 2022-06-08 06:21
thank you, Geez...
did I surprise you? LOL! I get a lot of inspiration from Steven!
*hugs, Cat
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
One
Wed, 2022-06-08 03:50
Sis,
stunning!
regards
One.
.
"with all that I am & all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me"
Candlewitch
Wed, 2022-06-08 06:23
dear One,
yes you are...never forget it!
*love Sis
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
One
Wed, 2022-06-08 08:22
lol!
.
.
"with all that I am & all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me"
scribbler
Wed, 2022-06-08 09:48
Hi Cat
Excellent.........but I still have a suggestion since I have read that close repletion of the same word is not a good thing. Eyes, try changing the first of the lines with eyes into I gaze upon your face and see how you like it.