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The Elder Bush (one of my earliest poems)

The elder bush, the elder bush
bloomed in the month of May;
among its twigs a little bird
would sing its song of love each day.

The elder bush, the elder bush
beneath which we found our bliss;
we truly were the happiest,
until something went amiss.

The elder bush, the elder bush
where we exchanged sweet words of love,
has grown into a tall tree;
a little bird still sings above.

The elder bush, the elder bush;
Oh, be still you restless heart,
for I rue that certain day
on which she did depart.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Hello Jerry, what a sweet, romantic rhyming poem. Love it and its content. The repeated verse of the elder bush would make it a fine theme for singing.
About a lost love?
The pacing, beginning and ending are perfect. No nits.
Best, Gracy

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"My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies; fairy tales of yesterday will grow but never die, I can fly, my friends.” – Freddie Mercury

well, you hit the nail squarely on the head,lol. It was, indeed, meant to be a song about lost love--although not mine. I have nearly 2 dozen of these cuties filed away. Those sing-song poems come easy to me---maybe because I'm a tender, sentimental guy?? Naw, lol. Lynda always smiles when she reads my stuff. I think I will invent a tune to go with this little ditty; maybe she will sing it just for you. Take good care of yourself, Gracy.
Jerry

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>Please visit my website: www.jerrykspoetry.com

author comment

I sent you my reply to your comment but is seems that my computer has been acting up. I hope this note reaches you. Let me know, please, Jerry

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>Please visit my website: www.jerrykspoetry.com

author comment
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