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Egotistic

Submitted by Hooded Stranger on Thu, 2011-01-20 16:14

Egotistic

Your desire to be accepted
Has left you blind to the truth
You're laughing stock
Behind your back they laugh and mock

You think you're respected
But actually you're rejected

Your need to be recognised
Has blinded you from reality
You're laughing stock
Behind your back they snigger and mock

You believe you are venerated
But actually you are humiliated

Your hunger to be loved and adored
Has left you despised and ignored
You wait for the oncoming applause
But deafening silence is your only reward

Your hunger to be loved and idolised
Has left you ignored and despised
You await the oncoming prize
But the deafening silence just amplifies

Your craving for approval
Has left you blind to the verity
You're laughing stock
Behind your back they whisper and mock

You think you are respected
But actually you are resented

Your yearning to be admired
Has blinded you from clarity
You're laughing stock
Behind your back they point and mock

You think you're venerated
But actually you're eliminated

© 2011 hoodedstranger.com

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Editing - draft

Comments

themoonman

Thu, 2011-01-20 17:11

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this one lets the wind right out the sail ...

thanks for posting !

Hooded Stranger

Thu, 2011-01-20 19:36

Hooded Stranger's picture

Richard,

I feel better now for letting that out of my system.

regards,

HS

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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

author comment

lou

Thu, 2011-01-20 18:00

lou's picture

Having read this one prior to posting , I was aware of it's power.
But reading it again, blows my mind lol Full of strong emotion

Lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

Hooded Stranger

Thu, 2011-01-20 19:38

Hooded Stranger's picture

Lou,

obviously you knew about this one as it was being drafted, so I am aware already of your comments and thoughts on it, for that I thank you.

It does come across stronger now I see it posted...I must have been really angered when this one left my pen.

Thanks mate,

HS

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Workshops are now open:
http://new.neopoet.com/workshop/find
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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

author comment

lou

Thu, 2011-01-20 20:39

lou's picture

No worries mate, better out than in lol

Lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

Hooded Stranger

Thu, 2011-01-20 19:40

Hooded Stranger's picture

Chrys,

yup, it is now out of my system!...until next time!

I'd hate to be on the receiving end of this one too!...that hooded guy seems like a right nasty person when he is upset!

Lol!

Thanks for commenting,

HS

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Workshops are now open:
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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

author comment

Candlewitch

Fri, 2011-01-21 11:23

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"Your hunger to be loved and idolised
Has left you ignored and despised
You await for the oncoming prize
But the deafening silence just amplifies"

This one packs allot of punch! Much gunpowder in this keg. I love it! I think we all encounter someone like this at one time or another! As always, great writing! I feel this piece is done to perfection, so I have nothing to offer.

love, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Hooded Stranger

Fri, 2011-01-21 11:30

Hooded Stranger's picture

Cat,

glad you liked this one. I really went for it and let it all out.

I'll PM you in more detail about this piece, the why's, the how's and more importantly, the who!

Perfection?...you're too kind.

Thanks for dropping by,

HS

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Workshops are now open:
http://new.neopoet.com/workshop/find
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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

author comment

infinite_dwarf

Tue, 2011-01-25 18:01

infinite_dwarf's picture

That's my fav stanza as well. I love the anger, contempt, and the virtual "f-you" that this piece gives. Definitely packs some heat.

Hooded Stranger

Wed, 2011-01-26 02:17

Hooded Stranger's picture

Jess,

this is very much a "fcuk you!" piece...and yes, plenty of anger and contempt. I was not having the best of days when I wrote this one and it just took one annoying person to finally make me snap!

Thanks for the comment.

Will catch up with you later regarding 'Android'. I will email you.

regards,

HS

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Workshops are now open:
http://new.neopoet.com/workshop/find
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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

author comment

ziggy

Sat, 2011-01-22 14:03

hood hi , man this has some great word paring here
that all fit seamlessly, and the way you lay the lines out
your whole style is a treat to read and cat picked out my fav lines
above for me, and I like how even a single line form this has it's own
strength and I also like how the lines end on a strong word before
starting another line , I could go on ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,in short I love it ,,,,,,,,,,,,zigs

I salute anyone who breaks the rules in the interest of art and great poetry writing just as much as I admire poets who craft meter and verse within the confines of good grammar. Walk the tight rope or jump from it and see if you can fly.

Hooded Stranger

Sat, 2011-01-22 18:46

Hooded Stranger's picture

Zigs,

I am assuming you quite liked this one then?

Thanks for the positive comments mate,

HS

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Workshops are now open:
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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

author comment

Hooded Stranger

Wed, 2011-01-26 02:20

Hooded Stranger's picture

Rosina,

thanks for dropping in to read and comment my friend.

You got the 'selfish' part right, that's for sure. This person totally messed with head on that particular day of writing...I was hitting the keys harder and harder as I typed it. I was quite worn out, but satisfied, after it was completed.

Best therapy I know!

Regards,

HS

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Workshops are now open:
http://new.neopoet.com/workshop/find
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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

author comment

lou

Thu, 2011-01-27 07:00

lou's picture

HS,

I love a good rant epecially when it is peppered with profanity, as you my have noticed.

It is the only thing some sometimes that releases the pressure valve, and stops you killing passer by LOL

Lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

Hooded Stranger

Thu, 2011-01-27 07:54

Hooded Stranger's picture

Lou,

Peppered with Profanity - I think you have a good poem title there...obviously I can't use it but you can!

This isn't a rant, it is a love story.
.
.
.
.
Lol!

HS

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Workshops are now open:
http://new.neopoet.com/workshop/find
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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

author comment

lou

Thu, 2011-01-27 07:57

lou's picture

Awww

Lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

crypticbard

Thu, 2011-01-27 08:34

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This possesses the kind of message that can be found in each human in varying intensities. I know it stuck home as if it were the story of my life. Confession time? But I figure if I could recognise this lurking beneath the exterior then I could address it and be vigilant - useless being in denial. Quite a raw power exuding from the lines.

__________________________________________________
'write on! let these words free.'

Hooded Stranger

Thu, 2011-01-27 08:54

Hooded Stranger's picture

CB,

this isn't written about you my friend...so don't worry. I guess all of us can identify with different aspects of the piece...none of us are perfect!

Maybe some of us crave to be accepted, personally, I like my own council and am happy to walk my own path whether I am accepted or not.

Thanks for reading my friend.

regards,

HS

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Workshops are now open:
http://new.neopoet.com/workshop/find
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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

author comment

loved

Thu, 2011-01-27 17:19

loved's picture

blank

wonderful

loved

Hooded Stranger

Thu, 2011-01-27 12:28

Hooded Stranger's picture

Loved,

"but deafening silence is your only reward"

I don't understand the comment/statement.

I post my work to receive critique. You've simply written a few words. Do you like the poem, do you offer me any suggestions to improve it?

If you are going to comment on my work, can you at least make it constructive. Otherwise you're just wasting my time. Neopoet is a workshop...so please leave comments to my work with that in mind, otherwise, don't bother.

I guess if you decide not to respond, then my reward, will be the deafening silence.

HS

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Workshops are now open:
http://new.neopoet.com/workshop/find
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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

author comment

loved

Thu, 2011-01-27 17:19

loved's picture

blank

loved

Hooded Stranger

Thu, 2011-01-27 13:49

Hooded Stranger's picture

Loved,

I just don't understand what your point was...they may have been 'nice' words - but what did that actually mean as a way of critique?

HS

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Workshops are now open:
http://new.neopoet.com/workshop/find
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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

author comment

raj

Thu, 2011-01-27 13:42

you have such excellent vocabulary and you are Mr.Thesarus..it amazes me to see that you w\always come up with alternative words which fit so perfectly like finely crafted gems in a necklace...like in this lovely write...

i wish to draw your attention to this line...

You await for the oncoming prize

i believe it should be

either

You wait for the oncoming prize

or

You await the oncoming prize...

warmly...

raj (sublime_ocean)

Hooded Stranger

Thu, 2011-01-27 13:54

Hooded Stranger's picture

Raj,

Mr Thesaurus!...Lol!

Thanks for the kind comments about the piece.

You are right about that one line, I think I prefer:

You await the oncoming prize.

I will edit immediately.

regards,

HS

--------------
Workshops are now open:
http://new.neopoet.com/workshop/find
--------------
With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

author comment

Kailashana2

Thu, 2011-01-27 13:45

"I post my work to receive critique. You've simply written a few words. Do you like the poem, do you offer me any suggestions to improve it?"

So, then why did you ask me to and I quote "leave you alone"??????

It seems that you want groupies in the ranks of Neopoets. When someone offers you a real critique then you either *carry on* and assume the worst like you just have with Loved or you take offense like you did with Cat (a groupie?).

Please save me from egotists who masquerade in order to elicit a following of fellow
sympathizers. Not poets. But sympathizers.

Oh, is the poem the poet? Is a diary the mind? Or is the poet removed from their poem?
And the mind not a diary?

Your sandbox. Kitty porn for the mind. You can use those two lines for your next poem.

Have a good day, dear! All's fair in love and war, eh?

~Anna

Hooded Stranger

Fri, 2011-02-04 17:09

Hooded Stranger's picture

Thanks for taking time out to comment,

HS

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Workshops are now open:
http://new.neopoet.com/workshop/find
--------------
With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

author comment
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