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EDDYS, POOLS AND OLD FOOLS

What if every now and then
within the stream of time
a temporary eddy formed
and a few temporal gallons
flowed back?

But for just a very few
people and/or years
what if one of them were me
or....you
what could I do?

I guess I could warn Kennedy(s)
John Lennon, maybe King
But why would they listen to ME
a single ordinary man?

Maybe I could find my younger self
in nineteen seventy three
and even prove that I am he
perhaps the young I would heed me

I'd tell him to stay in school
for those last two years
and after he wrote that first poem
don't let the next wait forty years
That he should beware pine trees
already lying on the ground
that bones broken in his youth
return when old age comes around

I'd warn him that not everyone
was bound by a handshake
but only heeded cold contrcts
written words they couldn't break

Should I tell about all mistakes?
I'd have to leave a few for him
Would it be wrong to then advise
him to buy Apple, and cable T.V. stock,
and a few others like them?

Or would I dare do anything
fearing the butterfly effect?

But I see no swirls or eddys
save in rivers and in streams
so I guess I'll save temporal delemmas
for my day and night time dreams

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
I wrote this months ago. I recently did a review and changed a few things. Feel free to tell me your ideas......stan
Editing stage: 

Comments

I've been thinking about temporal distortions a fair bit lately. You know time travel to the past is relatively [forgive the pun] easy. Just travel at over the speed of light and come back and you will be in your own past. As you say the butterfly effect could be terrifying.

Content-wise the best lines are
Should I tell about all mistakes?
I'd have to leave a few for him

Now, Stan, take a seat for what I am about to say. I think this piece would be better structured with rhyme and meter. The tone seems to be genially asking for it.

delimas dilemmas

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Directors

Good to see you back around. I thought that the closer one gets to achieving light speed the slower your perceived time went and the faster it went for those left behind thus making your arrival "back home" occur in a future far more distant than the time you experience while traveling. But you said travel Over light speed didn't you? Regardless, Einstein postulated time travel as being possible and he was seldom wrong.

Far easier to believe in time travel than to believe You suggested I change this to rhyming lol. I'll give that some thought. Shouldn't be that hard as there's already some rhyming here............stan

author comment

Now you want to time travel, well in the eddies and whirlpools of life we do things and they are fixed in the now plus a bit lol.
It will always be the now, my now your now, as to relativity and travelling faster than light, just another barrier to pass through, and seeing that light has mass then it would hurt a bit to hit that barrier lol. A flash of light and you would be gone, sounds like a furry furry rabbit.
I think even Einstein worked out that it is a giant curve and I am sure you cannot be in two places at once except when you are Spirit or have been drinking too much of it lol, just one small typo at the bottom.
The piece was an excellent read, Yours Ian.T
.
in nineteen sevent three

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Is that you in picture or Elton John? lol. Time travel Would be quite an experience wouldn't it? I have only done it for a few hours at a time. I go to sllep at night and when I awaken I've traveled to the next day lmao. Thanks for dropping by..............stan

author comment

I woke up this morning wearing silk tights and a funny wig I must have travelled a few years back in time, I want to return to the now, but the silky things just have the edge, Yours Ian.T. He He

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

delimmas dilemmas
and
in nineteen sevent[y] three

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Directors

Well we know where the "old fools" part comes in now lol..........stan

author comment

Hi there Stan - thought I'd pop by and see whose still around! So pleased to see you here and such a good and thought provoking poem to be greeted with! Hope all is well with you and sue ( if I remember rightly ). Great poem!

Love Mand xxxxx

I'd begun to think you'd dropped of the edge of the world lol. Good to see you. I'm one of those guys who stays around .......and stays around......until people get sick of me. Then I stay around some more lmao. I'm pleased you enjoyed this scribble and I hope we will all be seeing more of you (no, not in that sense lol).................stan

author comment

Boy have I missed your humour! How could I not come and read your poems! Guess I'll be comin by top have a mossey now and again. He he

Hugs and smiles

Mand xxxxxx

neither old
no fool
nor single
why r u in a intermingle
a dilemma.....
may be after a long holiday

loved

I ain't exactly a spring chicken lol. And your idea that I can blame my sabbatical for any mistakes is a good one. Wonder how long I can get away wiyh it?...................stan

author comment

message gone home
well taken
be not mistaken

loved

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