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(Eddy Styx) Liberator

"Liberator"

Under a street lamp
within its sickly yellow glow,
she found me starving.
Looking deeply into
my famished eyes,
"I'll feed you." She said,
"In return, you must feed me...
what is it you're craving?"

I replied
with digits twitching,
"I want to touch my fingers
to that translucent, milky shadow,
Ahhhhh...
just there
at the base of your throat
where the pulse
beats like butterfly wings
and I want to taste the death
from your lips..."

*eddy styx is my male alter ego

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 

Comments

Cat,

great Eddy poem...the opening stanza reminds me of the front cover of 'The Book of Styx'...I can see him wearing that hat and the street lights casting his shadow across his face and victim.

Second stanza....perfectly Styx.

He is an evil bastard!...I love him.

Great imagery...well haunting actually!

Good job,

HS

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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

Yes, eddy is truly an evil bastard. He is best kept in the shadows. Thanks always for your input and insight.

always, cat/eddy

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

a haunting..captivating write ...

the following lines are truly pulsating ..

"I want to touch my fingers
to that translucent, milky shadow,
Ahhhhh...
just there
at the base of your throat
where the pulse
beats like butterfly wings
And I want to taste the death
from your lips..."

warmly...

raj (sublime_ocean)

Thank you for sharing with me that which you enjoyed!

always, cat/eddy

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

I like this very much from your male alter ego, Sometimes I like to write also from the female perspective if that is possible as a man. So much beauty I can't pick out what I love the most. And there are no corrections I could offer. A joy to read. JohnXxx

Thank you for telling me that you like to occasionally write from the female perspective. I think taking on the opposite view stretches us as writers.

always, cat/eddy

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

We are so glad you enjoyed this write!

love, cat/eddy

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

This is so damned exquisitely sensual. Interesting observation I've made about myself with this poem, Cat. I notice I rarely put myself in the killer's role, identifying mostly with the desire to surrender and be sacrificed. Hmmm.

Thanks for being you (and Eddy).

~

Interesting observation! It just proves that you are a sweet and tender soul.

love, cat/eddy

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

This is so beautfully discriptive, I love it .

Love as always Lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

I am pleased to have entertained you.

love, cat/eddy

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

Wow. Liberator is an excellent title, descriptive and disquieting. It fits wonderfully with the sheer squirming insanity of Mr. Styx.
Says a lot about Eddy's motivations for murder, heehee.
Cannot fault the rest, except to say, maybe, some punctuation is needed at the end, or maybe just make "And" smallcap?

There's that cold finger down my spine again.

Respectfully, Jim

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo

Some how my response to you turned up under Rosina's post.

always, cat/eddy

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

"The Vampire Diaries," I will have to check them out. Sounds like something right up my alley! Thanks for the thumbs up!

love, cat/eddy

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

Thanks for the suggestions, I have small capped "and" I am so pleased that you enjoyed the read!

always, cat/eddy

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

well your alter ego writes pretty darn good lol. nice write

You can never pick anyone up if you are busy putting them down

Thank you for the nice compliment!

always, eddy/cat

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

Thanks for your vote of confidence on this piece. I hope that all is well with you. You take all the time that you need. Hope to see you again soon.

Love, Cat

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

hi cat wonderfully worded , no lines to quote as to my
fav as it is all fantastically dark , its title seems perfect ,,,,,zigs

I salute anyone who breaks the rules in the interest of art and great poetry writing just as much as I admire poets who craft meter and verse within the confines of good grammar. Walk the tight rope or jump from it and see if you can fly.

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