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Earthlings... [May Contest]

What an awesome place to live
This blue wrapped planet
Full of water
Circling a yellow star

They call it the Goldilocks zone
Not too far and not too close
Nobody here but us...
I wonder why no one comes to visit?

Maybe our neighbors are afraid of us
After all, we have let the place go to hell
Killed off most of the wildlife
And put up a parking lot

I see those unidentifieds zoom by
I'll bet they're scared of us
Kinda like being on the wrong side of the tracks
After dark

Frantic signals to Space Towing
Come quick, I'm stranded
Yeah, some fking place called Roswell
What do you mean, it's extra from here?

Do you take Galaxy card?

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 

Comments

I like this mix or reality and fantasy. The title is apt, but I wasn't pretty sure about the last line. Maybe a hint to help?

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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like; "Ok, ok, I'll pay the extra, just get me outta here!"
Should I have said, Mastercard or Visa? ~ Geezer.
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Honest critique and comments shouldn't hurt.
It's why we are here, to get better at our craft.

author comment

I see now the humoe behind the last few lines. I see it's clear for everyone else so no edits needed.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
www.instgram.com/rularules1

we need a little bit of help to see the punch-lines. ~ Geezer.
.

Honest critique and comments shouldn't hurt.
It's why we are here, to get better at our craft.

author comment

Very good, Gee, and so true. A lovely blue planet destroyed by humankind. I have a feeling that there are better beings out there in Space. I like the humor at the end, the Galaxy card. They probably don't use money or cards out there. I'll return for a second read, it's made me think.

*
*
*
Know then thyself, presume not God to scan,
The proper study of Mankind is Man.
Plac’d on this isthmus of a middle state,
A being darkly wise, and rudely great….

An Essay On Man, III, Alexander Pope.

they probably don't use money or cards, but it wouldn't have as funny or as explicit, if I said; I'll give you extra energy zolts. Or maybe it would. I doubt they are afraid of us either; I'll bet that their bombs are bigger than ours! It's probably all a big misunderstanding, because we don't have the same gray skin color and are pushing our satellites full of junk in more affluent neighborhoods. ~ Geezer.
.

Honest critique and comments shouldn't hurt.
It's why we are here, to get better at our craft.

author comment

I loved it. "They paved paradise and put up a parking lot" good song. Your poem was amusing. It brought a much needed smile
good luck on the contest

Let your mercy spill on all those
burning hearts in hell( L.Cohen)

I made you smile. I don't think that I can be hit for using that line, do you? I hope not. That song just popped into my head as I was writing this. I am sure that if UFO's are piloted by aliens who are ages ahead of us, they must be appalled at the mess we have made of things here. ~ Geezer.
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Honest critique and comments shouldn't hurt.
It's why we are here, to get better at our craft.

author comment

our blue planet's position in relation to the sun is just about as perfect as can be--for growing rhubarb. Any stranded space traveler should be happy to have landed in JerryK's backyard. There's plenty of wildlife: lizards, rabbits, stray coyotes--and what do you call those twig-like beings that walk on their lower limbs--humans? right! All good eating. (Yes, I've read "War of the Worlds; even watched the movie). But, doesn't the sun circle around our blue planet? That's what my village priest told me a few centuries ago. Yours is an amusing write, Geezer.
Jerry

I thought so too, if I do say so myself [and I do]. I'm pretty sure that it is the Earth circling the sun, but... I could be wrong, I mean what do I know? After all, those priests are a lot more learned than I. I'm just a poor dolt with a sense of humor. ~ Geezer.
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Honest critique and comments shouldn't hurt.
It's why we are here, to get better at our craft.

author comment

I love the irony in here can you imagine that our worst "so called" enemy would pass us by. Brilliant and thought provoking. And another fun read with the darkness of truth of what man has done to our beautiful planet. So your title it tickled me and your ending I found strong the theme, well who doesn't love aliensps I wrote one a bit similar called Einstein if you would be interested to read.

Thank you...Teddy

your Einstein, I found it humorous and in line with my beliefs. That we aren't alone and they are just avoiding us like bad neighbors. ~ Geezer.
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Honest critique and comments shouldn't hurt.
It's why we are here, to get better at our craft.

author comment

It's just like you say
OK OK
But why have you used first letters
all in Caps
that I wonder....

all the lines are statements or questions, except for the one that begins with [And]. Not extensions of each other, except that they relate to each of the rest. ~ Gee.
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Honest critique and comments shouldn't hurt.
It's why we are here, to get better at our craft.

author comment

with your justification Shall have to apply my mind again
But never mind
you are not entitled to a Prize
and I have won nearly four ever since
lol
none the less
best of luck Gee

I can start each line with a capital if I want to? Read it the way it reads, you will see. ~ Gee.
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Honest critique and comments shouldn't hurt.
It's why we are here, to get better at our craft.

author comment

What an awesome place to live
this blue wrapped planet
full of water
circling a yellow (star)
ball of fire..

has it made any difference
however you can maintain
the yellow portion of your poetic vein
absent I shall remain ...
but will be happy if you win
give the dollars to
Paul
of NEO
no sin...

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