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An Earth Angel Short-lived
A huge shadow fell over my heart
on 2013's dawn,
a few weeks ago, diagnosed
and now, an "earth angel", is gone!
She didn't live an easy life
but, joy did dance in her eyes;
I watched that joy drain quickly
as her spirit ceased it's cries.
I'll always be able to celebrate
Debi's life, and not her end;
I hold her dear in my mind's library
so, she'll forever be my friend.
In my inner heart of hearts
and in the center of my mind,
there is a place where I can go
to see her smile, and laugh; so kind.
Deb left this world all too soon
I'll miss her, as I continue my roam;
from all of life's burdens she's flying free,
now Debi, is finally home.
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words:
Just my way of acknowledging Debi Graham's short life, as an earth angel.
Editing stage:
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Comments
Ian.T
Mon, 2013-01-14 04:17
Doc
Though I liked the write I would have liked it more had it been spoken to Debi and not of her, it would have brought another facet to the write and more meaning. I suppose you could write two pieces one as is and another just talking to her, Just Me, Yours Ian.T
.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..
docmaverick
Wed, 2013-01-16 12:15
Thanx Ian....
...you're probably right. I was asked to write a poem to read as a eulogy; so that's why I opted for this method. But, you are correct; it WOULD have added another dimenention to the write!
Thanx again,
doc.
Neopoet is "newtriffic" !
...from the heart, or a reasonable faxcimile;
david a. goodwin #{:>{)} @==
Serendipity
Mon, 2013-01-14 06:04
Dear Doc
I thought it was a lovely tribute for your friend I dont believe in mucking around with these types of writes I think that they are intensely private and I am loath to offer changes
I loved the ending its nice to think of us all going home
with love JC xxx
("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)
docmaverick
Wed, 2013-01-16 12:18
A difficult time....
...and a HUGE loss. I'm very pleased this caught your attention.
Thanx,
doc.
Neopoet is "newtriffic" !
...from the heart, or a reasonable faxcimile;
david a. goodwin #{:>{)} @==