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An Earth Angel Short-lived

Submitted by docmaverick on Sun, 2013-01-13 23:26

A huge shadow fell over my heart
on 2013's dawn,

a few weeks ago, diagnosed
and now, an "earth angel", is gone!

She didn't live an easy life
but, joy did dance in her eyes;

I watched that joy drain quickly
as her spirit ceased it's cries.

I'll always be able to celebrate
Debi's life, and not her end;

I hold her dear in my mind's library
so, she'll forever be my friend.

In my inner heart of hearts
and in the center of my mind,

there is a place where I can go
to see her smile, and laugh; so kind.

Deb left this world all too soon
I'll miss her, as I continue my roam;

from all of life's burdens she's flying free,
now Debi, is finally home.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
Just my way of acknowledging Debi Graham's short life, as an earth angel.
Editing stage: 
Editing - draft

Comments

Ian.T

Mon, 2013-01-14 04:17

Ian.T's picture
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Though I liked the write I would have liked it more had it been spoken to Debi and not of her, it would have brought another facet to the write and more meaning. I suppose you could write two pieces one as is and another just talking to her, Just Me, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

docmaverick

Wed, 2013-01-16 12:15

docmaverick's picture

...you're probably right. I was asked to write a poem to read as a eulogy; so that's why I opted for this method. But, you are correct; it WOULD have added another dimenention to the write!
Thanx again,
doc.

Neopoet is "newtriffic" !
...from the heart, or a reasonable faxcimile;
david a. goodwin #{:>{)} @==

author comment

Seren

Mon, 2013-01-14 06:04

Seren's picture

I thought it was a lovely tribute for your friend I dont believe in mucking around with these types of writes I think that they are intensely private and I am loath to offer changes

I loved the ending its nice to think of us all going home

with love JC xxx

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

docmaverick

Wed, 2013-01-16 12:18

docmaverick's picture

...and a HUGE loss. I'm very pleased this caught your attention.
Thanx,
doc.

Neopoet is "newtriffic" !
...from the heart, or a reasonable faxcimile;
david a. goodwin #{:>{)} @==

author comment
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