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An Earth Angel Short-lived

Submitted by docmaverick on Sun, 2013-01-13 23:26

A huge shadow fell over my heart
on 2013's dawn,

a few weeks ago, diagnosed
and now, an "earth angel", is gone!

She didn't live an easy life
but, joy did dance in her eyes;

I watched that joy drain quickly
as her spirit ceased it's cries.

I'll always be able to celebrate
Debi's life, and not her end;

I hold her dear in my mind's library
so, she'll forever be my friend.

In my inner heart of hearts
and in the center of my mind,

there is a place where I can go
to see her smile, and laugh; so kind.

Deb left this world all too soon
I'll miss her, as I continue my roam;

from all of life's burdens she's flying free,
now Debi, is finally home.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
Just my way of acknowledging Debi Graham's short life, as an earth angel.
Editing stage: 
Editing - draft

Comments

Ian.T

Mon, 2013-01-14 04:17

Ian.T's picture
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Though I liked the write I would have liked it more had it been spoken to Debi and not of her, it would have brought another facet to the write and more meaning. I suppose you could write two pieces one as is and another just talking to her, Just Me, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

docmaverick

Wed, 2013-01-16 12:15

docmaverick's picture

...you're probably right. I was asked to write a poem to read as a eulogy; so that's why I opted for this method. But, you are correct; it WOULD have added another dimenention to the write!
Thanx again,
doc.

Neopoet is "newtriffic" !
...from the heart, or a reasonable faxcimile;
david a. goodwin #{:>{)} @==

author comment

Seren

Mon, 2013-01-14 06:04

Seren's picture

I thought it was a lovely tribute for your friend I dont believe in mucking around with these types of writes I think that they are intensely private and I am loath to offer changes

I loved the ending its nice to think of us all going home

with love JC xxx

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

docmaverick

Wed, 2013-01-16 12:18

docmaverick's picture

...and a HUGE loss. I'm very pleased this caught your attention.
Thanx,
doc.

Neopoet is "newtriffic" !
...from the heart, or a reasonable faxcimile;
david a. goodwin #{:>{)} @==

author comment
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