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Dust Me Darling Deleted from main creating space

Dust me darling
now shall dust it all off
dust off my cap
have just come after a long walk
breathless right now can't talk

deep down my throat
all know
is dampened dust
from the sandy windy sea shore

how long will sneezing last
none can say
any how the dying dusk
shall sweep me away

it's a long way from the desert
where I stay
sandy dust and mellowing dusk
is our share
all night and all day
am I expected any more to say
today
.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

very Spartan. The lines seem to suggest that you have taken a very ordinary walk along the beach and turned it into a poem. That's okay! Not a major work here, but a slice of another's life; told to the reader. ~ Gee.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

glad you returned
you were away
do read stans IMAGERY
today

author comment

did you? ~Gee.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

did u not notice
I withdrew this one from there
too long stan said

author comment
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