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A Drug Poem

Alcohol removes inhibitions
makes one a fool
and that's great.

Cocaine she don't lie,
you can control the world.

Heroin ends all pain
and makes all things possible

Ecstasy is chemical love,
all night
dancing and fucking

Reality is for people who can't handle drugs.

Did I forget hallucinogens?
No.
They are for the truly brave or stupid.

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I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
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Comments

I hope this is not a sarcastic poem, because I largely agree with all that it says.

No verse is free for the man who wants to do a good job. - TS Eliot

http://www.wsgeorge.com/

and stay at school! [grins]
What do you expect of me William? Pure seriousness, sarcasm, flippancy, Robocop?
Make of it what you will, my friend.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

No, there is no sarcasm at all. A tint of irony only in that the descriptions are very real to the users, despite being delusions.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

I do like the descriptions...I agree with them. It makes the reality of the drug users sound like the kind of stuff motivational speakers tell you. Yes, you can control the world. :)

.

No verse is free for the man who wants to do a good job. - TS Eliot

http://www.wsgeorge.com/

Loved the shopping list and effects of each type of drug,
just wondered if they needed some life study,
or death mask to enhance their terrible abuse.

They lay laughing in the gutter
as alcohol removed their inhibitions,

Sticking needles between the toes
Tracks where pain and life just goes.. etc:

Only a different slant on this one, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

and with the deleterious effects apparent to all who have known my life and poetic process over the years that yes,
the poem and the effects you mention, are all true of drugs.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

As I've just returned from my Hogmanay with relatives in Edinburgh & the Scottish Borders...a smokey Talisker or Laphroaig, trips me out.

Problem is, I'm not a happy foolish drunk...more than a couple of fingers and i'm weeping into the glass....(just read that back, sounds salacious...)

Job done! Happy New Year!

Pardon me for saying, but with all your self-proclaimed knowledge of poetry and its many facets and forms, you can't come up with anything better than this? I suppose the theme is valid enough, as is your familiarity with it, but if this is a poem, then the rest of us here on Neo must be writing unintelligible gibberish! I do hope that isn't too harsh a critique, mate!

It certainly lacks poetic values and I should probably re-write it from scratch.
I guess it just felt like something I wanted to say, which does not make it poetry.

I do think though that "your self-proclaimed knowledge of poetry and its many facets and forms" felt like a personal dig, but you're allowed, I've made more than a few of my own [grins]

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

A kinda non-rhyming list poem huh? My main concern with the subject matter is that very young people might not see the underlying tone of irony and take all the "good" things listed at face value. I think the cure for this might be as simple as changing the last line to inject a bit more doubt about the good things which drugs can do. Maybe just : They are for the truly brave ... or stupid.
An internal rhyme or alliteration somewhere would do this a world of good.............stan

Yes, Lonnie's crit was valid. I might or might not work on it, as I said to Lonnie, it was just something I felt like saying.

As to its possible negative effects on younger readers. No way. If they are stupid enough to believe that you can control the world or make all things possible then they will probably take drugs anyway.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

and Mandy are now likely Both pissed at me lol. Ever have one thought in mind while writing another? I guess I must be getting older than I think. I edited so neither of you need to waste ire on this old scribbler ........stan

why would Mandy or I be pissed off at you?
(just messing with you)

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

or old or anyone who uses substances recreationally/performance enhancing/self-discovery or whatever.

Ice/crystal meth/Methamphetamine/Desoxyn or whatever street name is currently used is the only drug that I would warn everyone from ever using, ever, experimentally or whatever. The TV show "Breaking Bad",whilst superb television doesn't come anywhere near approaching the harmful effects of this heinous toxin. I say this in full awareness of the fact that it might well provoke curiousity anyway, but if anyone trusts me at all on anything, trust me on this. It is really fucking bad news, will drive you psychotic quite quickly, haemorrhage your brain and bring out every nasty, self-loathing aspect of your personality very quickly.

Please, just don't go there.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Methamphetamine

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

I am being drawn two ways with this poem, remembering my salacious past you hit the nail on the head you also make me remember how inviting it can be to blot out the rest of the world

It needs something I'm not sure what but I'll return in the daylight and see what I can offer

Love JC xxx

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

I've noticed you seldom do.
I'm often tempted to say "I'll come back later with more critique", but don't because I don't.
Not attacking you, just thought you might appreciate me pointing this out.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

Hence ive not been around much, im next to useless at the moment
Thanks for bringing it to my attention i will take care in what i promise in future

Cheers

Jayne

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

shunned unappetizing subject matter. My Tanka/acrostic has drawn no critique, or review. it too is about a slant on drug use. I wholly agree Meth is "Satans" Dandruff, one might as well melon scoop out ones frontal lobe and get right to the point of it, then to spend the fortune to the Meth Man. I am not even a fan of Molly, too apt to be something other then what is advertised.. without a kit one can never know exactly, and here in the States they have no such kits.

In ink,
Dabbler

I've been struggling to critique lately, in fact a bit of a malaise seems to have settled over Neopoet generally. Let's go kick some butt.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

and up top of myself I will be more present. This is the end of the week and still dog sick, with the ability to only drink soup, and electrolyte juices.

I miss the old Neo crowd.

In ink,
david

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