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Dropped stitches
I have loved boundlessly
and thought left empty
yet in the moments
minutes and hours,
we lay in the stars
of each other's eyes,
I found ecstasy but also
unfathomable sadness
Finding you in this life
stitching my destiny,
into the silken fabric
of our days together
A pattern was designed
to be rent with tears,
but weaving a chaotic arc
found lusting symmetry
the burdens of life
strained the linen,
binding our bodies
to perfections edge
the hemp began to fray
and the gaping material
of the masterpiece of us
finally tore to shreds
I knew then,
no matter the quality
of the sewing,
every bolt of cloth
we wove together
will be stitched in dust
A boundless love
isn't draped in clothes,
It is intangible wisps
in the universe,
and wafts forever
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words:
Thanks Tim. I started this & you inspired me to finish it.
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Author information
Region & Country
Beyond the Black Stump..Australia
Favorite Poets
Pablo Neruda, P.K.Page, W.H.Auden, to many and various to include them all ...
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Comments
Candlewitch
Sat, 2023-02-04 13:05
dear Sis,
sorrow and ecstasy, yes... it makes for a tale of longing. to have loved and lost that much pulls the heartstrings.
*Love, Sis
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Seren
Sun, 2023-02-05 10:11
Dear Cat
There were two end lines to this poem. I am still ruminating on whether to include them or not it's a bit of a pickle.
To have loved so deeply and not be loved back is the tragedy. Used abused and thrown aside.
Thanks as always for your time and your insight into my poems it's always appreciated.
Love you Sis xox
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
author commentRosewood Apothecary
Sat, 2023-02-04 14:03
C’est la vie
Anyone who's ever had a heart
Wouldn't turn around and break it
And anyone who's ever played a part
Wouldn't turn around and hate it
Sweet Jane, sweet Jane
Oh, sweet, sweet Jane
Anyone who's ever had a dream
Anyone who's ever played a part
Anyone who's ever been lonely
And anyone who's ever split apart
Heavenly wine and roses
Seem to whisper to me when you smile
Sweet Jane, sweet Jane
Oh, sweet, sweet Jane
Lou Reed and I both know exactly how you feel.
It’s beautiful and sad and timeless. You present a tapestry of old time symbols under a canopy of crossed stars.
Tim
Seren
Sun, 2023-02-05 10:13
Dear Tim
I've never heard that song. As soon as I am finished here I am going to listen to it. Thanks so much for your visit and the read. I always appreciate your thoughts and your dedication to your craft here
Jayne
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
author commentSeren
Sun, 2023-02-05 10:15
Dear Mark
I've never heard that song before. When I am done here I am going to see if it can find it. Thanks so much for the visit. I am happy you liked it.
Cheers Jayne
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
author commentLavender
Sat, 2023-02-04 19:14
Dropped Stitches
Hi, Jayne,
This has such a quiet, somber sense to it - like watching someone walk away. Very thoughtful, and well written.
L
Seren
Sun, 2023-02-05 10:17
Dear Lavender
This was in a sense walking away in words if not body. That's coming. Very perceptive. Thanks for the visit. I appreciate it
Kindest regards Jayne x
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
author commentRoseBlack
Sun, 2023-02-05 13:34
Love the title
And the poem- such deep emotions of love/pleasure/grief/sorrow. Well done!
~RoseBlack~
Seren
Mon, 2023-02-06 02:43
Dear Carrie
It was. Thanks for reading I do appreciate it.
Love & hugs Jayne xox
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
author commentlovedly
Sun, 2023-02-05 13:49
IT IS and has to or must be MUTUAL
Finding you in this life
stitching xxx(my )xxx our destiny,
into the fabric
of our days together...
Seren
Mon, 2023-02-06 02:42
I'm not a desperate debutante
Double post
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
author commentSeren
Mon, 2023-02-06 02:42
I'm not a desperate debutante
I'm not a desperate debutante though I thought he loved me. Only thing he loved was what I could give him. It was always about him.
I was deceived and young & dumb. I grew up and threw his ass to the kerb.
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
author commentlovedly
Mon, 2023-02-06 04:29
oh sis
''''Only thing he loved was what I could give him. It was always about him. '''
I faced a guy like u did but sad enough all my life
But now I am at peace no more pieces....
nothing else could I do
he left for heaven all alone
I forgave him
Seren
Mon, 2023-02-06 05:34
Then you know,
Then you know,
I long ago forgave him
I'm yet to forgive myself for my foolishness.
I learned much about myself though.
Hugs xox
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
author commentlovedly
Mon, 2023-02-06 05:40
once the act is done
we have alone to be responsible
all else are simple
advisors
sis relax
this world will not end
we all have to cross
that bend
so contend....
Seren
Mon, 2023-02-06 10:12
Relax? Lol I'm not built for
Relax? Lol I'm not built for that It's a content work in progress.
Hugs xox
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
author commentRosewood Apothecary
Mon, 2023-02-06 06:19
It’s hard to forgive oneself
The main focus of my therapy sessions has been that. We all have ghosts in the rear view mirror, don’t let them drive the vehicle. I have an old poem called “Driving With Ghosts” I will post later today. I looked in my works but it’s not there so I must have skipped posting that one for one reason or another.
I think it’s appropriate
Tim
Seren
Mon, 2023-02-06 10:11
Tim
I look forward to reading it. I came to a point with my therapy I realised there was only so much I could say and trying types of therapy until I found what worked for me. I still have a monthly session just for tune ups. The work is constant but the benefits mindblowing.
Jayne
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
author commentJackweb
Fri, 2023-02-10 01:41
Hello Seren.
This is terrible emotional, terrible sensitive. But not so terrible, Maybe. The sensitive heart can see, things a strong heart cannot. You're well versed with language. Excellent poem.
.
"Time will crush on us if we don't utilize it. Just remember, you're an element of time".
~Jackweb
Seren
Sun, 2023-02-12 00:17
Dear JackWeb
Thank you so much for your kind comment, I am a student of language. Not just English. I was trained in speech and drama and I also have my teachers cert from the then Australian Music examination board. I'm truly obsessed with writing poetry bringing back words that are in effectively redundant in our world. I think it's a great loss of culture to let these old world words slip into oblivion.
Thanks foe taking the time to read this poem I really appreciate the feedback.
Kind regards Jayne
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
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