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Dreamdoor

You fell into the abyss,
But did you let go...
When darkness gets heavy,
Wear it like a blanket...

A curtain of glass,
Dont stride in too fast,
As you already are,
On the other side...

Laughter like snow,
Fresh cotton candy,
Melts in the mouth,
And flows to the heart...

Lit up and sparkling,
Eyes like the night sky,
Bejewelled with gems,
Of stars not seen before...

Come join me for a bite,
A slice of the moon,
Or a piece of this sky,
No one will miss a corner...

Then off shall we go,
For a ride on this breeze,
Lets invite the Gods,
Lest they feel envy's...

When you would wake up,
Then dont blink too hard,
Open your eyes gently,
As dreams are fragile...

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
Written as a tribute to the great indian poet and lyricist Gulzar...
Editing stage: 

Comments

Haven't had the pleasure of reading your poetry before and this is just amazing you have me hooked i'll be around from time to time annoying you ;)

spectacular poem great tribute

Kind regards Jayne

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

Sincerely appreciate the kind words - cheers...

author comment

the merits of the poem lie in its deep philoshophies which when i transcribed i became more beneficial to the pice. great job

I am truly grateful for the appreciation - cheers...

author comment
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