What a sad degraded world it is we live in:
Violent, adulterous, hypocritical slobs
Masquerading as cabinet ministers
TV entertainers and footballers;
And that's just the half of it.

The once noble and respected BBC
(slogan: nation shall speak peace unto nation)
Now employs a load of talentless, provincial announcers
Complete with impenetrable regional accents
(including that slimy one with the hideous
sycophantic Welsh sing-song gargle)
Spouting banalities and half-truths.
I remember a golden age, (ah! halcyon days)
When BBC announcers spoke decent English;
When announcers wore evening dress to read the News;
To show respect for the paying viewers;
When "Arts programmes" didn't include graffito daubers
Burbled on about boringly by Yorkshire pseudo-intellectuals;
When you needed to be almost literate
Before being allowed to swab the graffiti off the lav walls.

And now of course, in egalitarism's sodding name,
Everyone can go to a so-called dungheap university
(Walton-on-the-Naze Polytechnic College
Of Ethnic Football Management is particularly good)
Provided you can half-spell your own name (second attempt will do),
And as long as you can pay the bills;
And the average person's fondest dream
Is to win Big Brother or Tuneless Teen Idol
Or to have virtual TV sex on Big Boobs Island.
Sic transit gloria Britanniae