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DOUBLE VISION
I see you sitting over there
holding grandson in your arms
in your old Boston rocking chair
captured by an infant's charms
And I've seen that look before
years and decades in the past
contentment, love and so much more
a look I thought whose time had passed
So grandmadonna rock that child
the tiny son of second son
sing to him with pure voice, mild
another journey has begun
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage:
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Comments
sueb
Sun, 2013-02-03 17:44
lovely x
lovely x
scribbler
Sun, 2013-02-03 17:52
Hi Sue
Thank you.............stan
Jenifer James
Mon, 2013-02-04 02:11
A sweet love poem in the truest sense
what more can I say - one to pass on this lovely child
Jenifer
loved
Mon, 2013-02-04 02:15
you came to Boston ..Stan
and didn't say Hello
I was at the Mcdonalds
waiting for you
loved
scribbler
Mon, 2013-02-04 11:37
Hi Jen
I've loved her as a girlfriend, a woman, a wife, a mother. Now there's another way to add to the list.........stan
Frenchf
Mon, 2013-02-04 13:48
So lovely
To meet someone who loves and respects and puts it down in verse
scribbler
Mon, 2013-02-04 14:55
Hi Frenchi
I have 2 major muses and of the two, nature is the easiest to write about. Thanks for dropping by..........stan
scribbler
Mon, 2013-02-04 11:38
Hey loved
Lol the rocker came from Boston. Be pretty hard to get Me that far up north lol...........stan
loved
Mon, 2013-02-04 12:04
okay okay
Nothing is far in jet age..
I travel the world
in my physical self
as well as imagination
latter mostly
hahaha..
loved