Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Don't Hide in Mystery

I'm a mind explorer
A terrible listener
But a focused reader
And a story compiler

A mind explorer who is afraid of the world
A terrible listener who prefers to stay in the cold
A focused reader who loves to see what's the opposite of reality
A story compiler of other people's fantasy

Yes that's me
I hide in every mystery
I also hide myself behind silence
That's the only place that serves a defence

I am not interested in cruelty
I am not into brutality
I don't need other people just to practice fake formalities
I will never be someone's puppet

I love myself the way I am
The only company I don't want to be gone
I might as well hide myself in darkness
Just to avoid living in nonsense

I will live as what I want
Be with someone or not
This is what I had chosen
That's the only fact in me that is given

So don't mind me being so quiet
As long as silence doesn't mean violence
You don't have to look at a soul
That wants only silence as her role

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
I also want to know if is there any more words that are more suitable to use than the used ones by me. Thank you.
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

interesting title! pretty good flow.

in this line: A terrible listener who prefers to stay in (the) cold
I love myself the way it is (I love myself the way I am)
Be (it) with someone or not

a good piece depicting what you want and don't want!

welcome to Neopoet. don't be shy in reading other poet's poems and commenting :)

*hugs, Cat

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Hi! I am very grateful for reviewing my piece and I appreciate your words. Thank you!

author comment

You've a very nice piece! Work on the lines Candlewitch had already pinpointed.

Beautiful flow!

"Poetic license
gives
the poets
the free will to
embroider a good tale
and deviate from the established rules of language"~Jackweb

Thank you very much for reading my work

author comment

You can raise yourself to new levels
if you follow the advice of Cat and Jack. I'm afraid
that you have mistaken the words [soul and ghoul]
for rhyming words as they look very similar, but they
have different pronunciations. You might use these words as
a rhyming line and still have about the same meaning.

You don't have to look at a soul
that wants only silence as her role.
For the most part, I understand the poem and I think
that you will develop as a good poet, but you will have to read
a lot of the work here and decide for yourself what things you like to write about.
Just remember to get the proper sounds out of the words you want to use.
I know that English is a hard language to learn, because it has many diferent nuances
but you can do it. Good luck and keep writing. ~ Geezer.
.

It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?

Oh thank you for the words. I will work hard to improve what words I will be using in my next pieces. I am very grateful for tge advice.

author comment

very nicely done!

*hugs, Cat

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.