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Don't Drown In Sadness (For Mand & Family)
If life is the sea,
then moments will be
the high
and low tide.
When the mundane cycle
becomes unappreciated,
a tragedy that rocks one's world,
shall reveal its worth.
It is not a punishment
for the faithful,
but a test and reminder
to be thankful.
Just as the darkness of night
shows the beauty of the moon and stars,
so does the grimness of life,
unveils the value of little things denied.
It is not, however
for us to kneel in the cloak of despair
when fate deals a heavy hand,
and joy seems to crumble in disrepair,
but for us to rise
like a phoenix, spreading its wings
as we learn from the past
to find the glory our souls will sing.
Sadness is meant to be
a passing shadow.
Don't let it be the ghost
that haunts you
tomorrow.
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage:
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Comments
mand
Sat, 2016-05-28 07:04
Wow! :)
Thank you Alid - such lovely wise words!!! I really appreciate what you have done here - so kind of you. I will send this poem forthwith, if that's o.k with you! :)
Love to you for writing this poem - despite having your own problems. :)
Mand xxx
alidzain
Sat, 2016-05-28 15:08
Dear Mand
my parents taught me, when someone is sad, offer them peace and hopes. When someone is in pain, offer them strength. When someone lose his temper, let him cool down before you reason with him.. Spread kindness and compassion. Show humility and never stray from the religion. I'm only trying to follow their teachings as best as I could.
Alid
mand
Sun, 2016-05-29 04:42
Hi Alid
Your parents are wise and compassionate - and you are following their footsteps!! You too are enduring many hardships, mine and my families pale into insignificance - and I know many people on this site are suffering incredible hardship - I am left in awe at the strength and fortitude of the human spirit.
Thank you Alid xxxx
Love to you
Mand xxx
alidzain
Sun, 2016-05-29 14:43
Mand
you're most welcome, my friend.
Alid
raj
Sat, 2016-05-28 07:11
Hi Alid
Writing this poem in itself is an act of expression of empathy for someone and in such fine verses providing them solace while they deal with sorrow ...
Regards,
raj (sublime_ocean)
alidzain
Sat, 2016-05-28 15:16
raj
It is what I wanted to do for a friend. Thank you for the visit, the read and the comment.
Alid
lovedly
Sat, 2016-05-28 15:12
I think alidz
you have shone
like the rising sun
in this one poem
may your verse be strewn
like stars in heaven
ere the morrow
alidzain
Sat, 2016-05-28 15:34
loved
Such high praises seems more suited for raj, Jayne and many others here but I'll still thank you for them and hope I will be worthy of them one day.
Alid
lovedly
Sat, 2016-05-28 16:37
we all r the same level
yes ur alidz
alidzain
Sat, 2016-05-28 17:35
thank you, loved
;D
Alid
lovedly
Sun, 2016-05-29 00:10
alidz
ok
Rula
Sun, 2016-05-29 04:28
This shows a kind
heart Khalid. Your words show your wisdom you gained from overcoming life difficulties and the faith that every sorrow shall pass to become a mere memory.We all here are proud to have a friend like you. I know Mand will appreciate this the way we all do.
Thanks for sharing.
❤❤❤❤❤❤
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alidzain
Sun, 2016-05-29 14:41
Salam, Rula
It is the least I can do for a friend. My parents once told me, the worst thing that one can do to oneself is to forget what the brain and the heart is for, or rather why we are here. Even offering kindness, no matter how little can be a sign of our gratitude to all that Allah has given us. I thank you for your kind words, sister and I hope I will always be able to do my best to follow His Way. Shukran
Alid