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Donna Joyce Clarke, Earth Angel

Submitted by docmaverick on Thu, 2012-02-16 06:11

With a 40 ounce in each hand
seemingly announcing her very age,

she more than likely felt much older
but we're all on a different page;

she breathed life in just like her cigars
deriving pleasure from each hue,

causing her world to seem so, colorless
except of course for her "shade" of blue.

She loved unconditionally, like any Mother
with a generous nature, with which to share,

explaining why she had so many friends
who miss her, and who really care.

Donna's peace was finally granted
on a dreary, wintery day,

because of those, who love and accepted her,
we'll feel her presence, anyway!

~

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
One of my "shadow people"; the poor dear lived primarily as an outcast, and predominately as an angel with a pedestrian existence. Of course, she will be greatly.... and hugely "missed"! With a heavy heart; sincerely, doc.
Editing stage: 
Editing - polished draft

Comments

weirdelf

Fri, 2012-02-17 01:47

weirdelf's picture
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My only regret is that I would like to hear more of her qualities and strengths, make her more real as a character.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
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docmaverick

Sat, 2012-02-18 06:41

docmaverick's picture

...I knew not, the departed Ms., however I was introduced to her by others; the "remembrance" is for her two sons.
Sincerely, thanx again;
doc.

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