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DONATE YOUR EYES (ADDRESSED TO MULTIPLE PEOPLE) in verses

Lovely eyes
do please give away
those lovely eyes
your eyes are a beauty
so lovely
the gift I want from you only
as you look into my eyes
a wave of emotion does in me arise

how I become so very eager
to have your full view
wow, wow, can you ever even dream
how much I'd love to see you
your eyes give me a worldly mine
in this world I’d like to shine
hope to someone you will someday
your eyes donate before you go away
but by then the world shall know
those were my eyes they belonged to me

2.
Donate your eyes before its too late
many aspirants are waiting at your gate
someone will love to see through these
they will forever bless you,
as you them please
some later day, do remember the blind
my lovely eyes someone will also find
when of them we have no need
below the earth we will lay indeed.
but a lucky one will see and learn to fly
imagine his happiness, just try

Your eyes are for me and mine are yours
as long as we live but hopefully
then someone else for these will long
as our eyes no more to us will belong

3.
Her eyes
how I become so very eager
to have your full view
wow, wow, can you ever even dream
how much I'd love to see you

4.
Smile

Your eyes give me a worldly mine
in this world I’d like to shine
hope to someone
you will someday
your eyes donate
ere we go away
Gift it eyes please
but ere I go the world shall know
those were my eyes they belonged to me
donate your eyes ere it’s too late;
many aspirants are waiting at your gate
someone will love to see through these
they will forever bless you
as you please

5.
The blind ones
Some later day do remember the blind
my lovely eyes someone will also find
when of them we have no need
below the earth we will lay indeed

but a lucky one will see and learn to fly
imagine his happiness just try
your eyes are for me
and mine are yours
as long as we live
but hopefully
then someone else for these will long
as our eyes
no more to us will belong

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

A beautiful write lovedly, A penetrating poem of love and fear

Eyes no longer seen through bequeathed to another
Take them and more
for loves sake
oh horror, and happiness
do I not already see through the eyes of a dead man?

It is a loving piece that comes from the heart
...but within the craft of poetry I think it could be condensed, using just a few charged words and images to make the point stick, and differentiate the sections. There is too much redundancy.
Personally not sure of "wow,wow:" in the poem. I think the effect of the poem should be that the reader response is..." wow"
With best intentions, Thanks

Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

This poem was posted on a site in 2013
where five snaps had to be displayed
and words so played ..
Over the years 2235 plus minus read it
so I posted it here ...just to share minus pictures NO WAY here

I fully agree with you
shall make a condensed one soon

Thanks for the vibes
lovedly

author comment

I really enjoyed this, lovedly. Even though I do not know you, felt your heart through this tender and sensitive piece. I also loved the clean way your rhymes flowed. The eyes are defintiely windows to our souls...

Peace to you.

Lavaheart

Hi Lovedly,
thank you for sharing your unique poem.
It is weird and disturbing and makes me go back in time when people didn't know how to donate and accept organs.

IRiz

to convey concisely
and change the trend of selfish humanity
MEDICAL science is now at beck and call
Help is only needed
so as and when needed
call me I will compose a newer poetry

author comment
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