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A Discovered Strand of Hope

I can see you
in my peripheral,
hands move
with steady ease
completing their tasks,
your body moves
like a sturdy breeze
making its way
from there, to,
I don’t know where.

And another piece
of my substance,
drains away...

I ache to reach out
tracing the words
and pictures
rippling on your skin
that reveal a story
of our time,
I want to memorize
each line and curve
in the tips
of my fingers
and rub them
against my temples,
to relive the journey

But another memory
is lost and erased
in the torment...

shaking,
my lips fail to move
with an answer
to the question,
the power
of communication
is slowly
being downgraded
and exchanged

And yet another day
of living in silence
commences...

now no longer
in my peripheral,
I am bereft
and grieving,
tossing my head
in denial
I rake my nails
across my face,
finally, I lay down
in the valley
of the dead,
no longer fearing
evil, I have become
emptiness and sorrow
my veil of sadness
is catching the tears
of the neverwas.

Another moment
existing in the land
of the living dead...

unraveling my mind
unhitching my soul,
you've unmade
all there is of me
I am unwinding
unweaving, un-sewing,
redeveloped into
the unbecoming.

Another hour began
sitting in the canyon
watching a fall...

---

Much later,
in the corner of my eye
a miracle lit a spark,
it now smolders
deep within my core
and at will
it is flaming free.

Another strand of hope
has been cast,
and it’s coiling inside me...

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
This has been doing my head in I have finally got it to posting stage but if anyone has any suggestions I would greatly appreciate them :)
Editing stage: 

Comments

I don't know how I missed out on this before..it took me to the very depths of a bottomless Well, depths which only those can fathom drowning in sorrow and floating on relentless hope. I could feel the pangs so vividly expressed in the lines akin to ripples within a sobbing heart...forgive me if I have said much rather than quietly absorbing it's essence and just sigh...

warmly..

raj (sublime_ocean)

For me a sigh is a very high compliment but I am glad you have left your thoughts I have yet to finish this one off I am working on a couple of edits at the moment this is one of them, I try to write what I feel sometimes and I when I can communicate that, then I think the jobs really begun,

in one hand you try to move through the morass in the search for hope
in the other hand your being smothered by sadness so overwhelming you cant breathe

thanks for being here Raj and thanks for the read and your comment I always appreciate it

much love and hugs JC xxx

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

author comment

Thanks for elaborating on the theme of your poem as:-

in one hand you try to move through the morass in the search for hope
in the other hand your being smothered by sadness so overwhelming you cant breathe

Having read this I believe my perception of your lovely poem shared in my earlier comment may not have been the same as per your clarification but quite close to it...

It is always a pleasure to read your poem and to perceive its essence...so keep writing more

much love..

raj (sublime_ocean)

Its funny I find I can express more in a smallish poem than I can in twenty pages of a letter or email, when I write a poem its like the inner part of me thats shut off opens for that time and closes again when the writings done, I always know what I mean in my head but sometimes getting it across is the hard part.

I don't think your too far off in your read your very close, as I said this was doing my head in but I stuck with it and now I am looking for suggestions

I will keep writing seems to be all I do at night lately I have a lot of unfinished poems to tend to over the coming weeks, it will keep my mind busy ;)

much love JC xxx

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

author comment

Oh Yes, a busy mind will do you a lot of good for sure and I must say you have a very fertile mind. so, we can expect a good harvest in the weeks ahead :)

be well...

raj (sublime_ocean)

I get ideas and sometimes it even surprises me where they go...

I am keeping busy, sleeping little but like a log when I do lol

take care JC xxx

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

author comment

you have portrayed sadness very well here. congrats

Alid

I really appreciate your thoughts, your very kind

love and hugs JC xxx

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

author comment

A hard journey but the words that were in the last two Stanza's show you that things are becoming what you are making them to be.
FOR YOU.
Inside that spark will grow and a rebirth of all the things you know not only that but they will make you stronger in the life to be.
Remember:-

Much later,
in the corner of my eye
a miracle lit a spark,
it now smolders
deep within my core
and at will
it is flaming free.

Another strand of hope
has been cast,
and it’s coiling inside me...

It is not a miracle, it is you in there and nothing can destroy it no matter what. We don't do miracles we do logic and understanding with a coat of unconditional love that protects everyone,
Yours as always Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

There is strand of light living inside each of us, sometimes its doused by the sadness and sorrow of life but its always there you just have to turn to the inside and relight the flame, sometimes that's hard thing to do letting go in life, in my opinion, and for me, is the hardest thing to do

I don't think it will ever get any easier for me, I yam what I yam I guess ;)

Thank you hun big hugs

love always JC xxx

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

author comment
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