Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

The Dirty, yet Sturdy, Nerdy, Wordy Hurdy-Gurdy Man

I can emulate my own, best amigo
or my fiercest, and worse enemy;

I also could end up easily, beside myself
continually, convicingly arguing things over, and over with, me!

However, whatever I'm feeling down inside
will usually fade, and disappear from my view;

unless, of course I see right through myself
with my hidden agendas all shining through.

Plus, I even seem to be more confused, of late
and so unsure of which facts I should give;

I actually did want to get my whole story, straight
but I've been indicisive, and so, argumentative.

I've also been so, very distant
and long-distance relationships, suck!

I then became wistfull, and serendipitiously
took turns, taking sides, with no luck.

Now, finally convinced I am trustworthy
I've made an example of myself plain to see;

if the most unheard of thing I have heard of
in the long run, will still sound good to me!

I honestly can't say, that I honestly care
to side in with one who can't, or won't say;

exactly what each of his minds, think
and which one will soon get, his own way!

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
[This option has been removed]
Last few words: 
Too wordy for a nonsense poem? Nonsense!
Editing stage: 

Comments

me lurve your title!
it's what drew me to read this write

i like that this seems to fall somewhere between
humour and pathos (well, it did for me!)

there are a couple of places i think could
benefit from some tightening up...perhaps just
lose the odd word or two...and i definitely
think you have over-used the humble comma...the over-use
here hinders a natural thought patten and causes the reader
to pause where they need not

regardless of that hic-up, i think you have
taken an unoriginal theme, and given it an
original twist

cheers
p

...I just "lurve" the curve of your verbs....while commenting, as well! Plus, I've always favored the pathetic side of my humorousity! That's exactly why I limply, and gimply "pimp" out those unsuspectng commas...I guess that's how us old, poetical gangsters "come a-" -round to finishing things.
Your comment was a delight!
Sincerely, thanx;
doc.

Neopoet is "newtriffic" !
...from the heart, or a reasonable faxcimile;
david a. goodwin #{:>{)} @==

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.