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Dirfiting Far Away

Submitted by The Rain Sprite on Wed, 2012-08-29 11:31

lost in the heart of a crowded city

....everyone has places to go to...

           destinations they hope to reach soon...

trap themselves inside the four-walled monster...

....streets with so many road arrows...

....................pointing everywhere....

but they sure find their way...

their eyes so full of life....

                                    but she doesn't know the name of the street

she is going to...so many streets...signs....so confusing...

but how do people know where to go?

she....just blends in

but she always stands out

......her face a flower....

her smile so bright

....her reddish brown eyes never gleam....

she laughs with everyone....

but she's always so far away....so near and yet so far...

she's here...but....she....

isn't

exactly

here....

 

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
poems conceal the poet's messages and feelings but I am never the type who can really hide anything through words...in reality, I am never expressive and often an introvert...a happy-go-lucky one with everyone and seldom sad so only through poem can I really reveal the hidden side of myself...sometimes dark and pessimistic . it is through poetry where I can be honest enough
Editing stage: 
Editing - polished draft

Comments

Ian.T

Thu, 2012-08-30 17:11

Ian.T's picture
Volunteer badge

The more you write the more freedom you will have.
I see that you are confined by monotony and the general run of things here you will be able to express yourself as you should be able to.
Even in your world you should be able to be you.
Join one of the workshops, help Barbara with her Renga it will bring you into contact with lots of us.
There are other people from the same place as you and they seem to be able to throw out some good pieces.
Arja seems to be able to cope and enjoys writing here.
I hope you will be happy here and put more on stream, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Kailashana2

Thu, 2012-08-30 19:23

Breaking free of one's habits and inhibitions is what poetry is all about. I like this poem, it's honest.

Try not to double space, I know it happens when transferring work from Word.

~Anna

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