Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Depression

You are the disease that spreads,

The pain that never ebbs,

Waiting evoking,

Round my throat silently choking, 

Despising deeply determined to offend,

Will the headache and heartbreak ever end? 

Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
Last few words: 
I wrote this last night as I was so down.
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Thankyou so much lovely I will try that, I find when I'm down writing helps me feel better even though the outcome is not always good, thankyou so much for your feedback xxx

author comment

Great to hear from you! I sometimes try to write in a singy songy kind of way! I should maybe try write something something shiny and happy next time to stop unleashing my monsters on you all lol xxxx

author comment

Family Portrait was on Instagram! That's amazing thankyou so much for telling me, and thankyou for supporting my work xx

author comment

This poem does a good job conveying emotion. You might play around some with the placement of your commas i think

Yes I am awful with punctuation I admit that, I will get to editing it. Thankyou for your thoughts xx

author comment

your title is not conducive to a fun read, I read it and was emotionally involved. That's good! So good to see you writing!
Yes, yes, and yes! Try writing something shiny and happy! It can chase away the blues very quickly. Sometimes, when I am
not feeling my best, I try to write happy thoughts and make fun of the things that come from under my pen. [keyboard]. You will be surprised at the things that can come of it. Keep writing! ~ Geezer.
.

It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?

My love poems are happy but that is as far as its gone, yes I agree writing happy thoughts can get rid of depression at least for a while.

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.