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Demons In My Eyes

Submitted by alidzain on Sun, 2016-07-24 16:57

My eyes will tell no lies.
I'm not the angel you think me to be.
I never mean to disguise
the flaws I wish I could rid of me.

Its just another shame
the secret I won't reveal with words.
The wildness that I can't tame
that turns me into a caged bird.

The demons in my eyes
are born of lust I can't control.
A place where true love dies
and my reality unfolds.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Esker

Wed, 2016-09-14 22:05

Esker's picture

a flood a rush that cannot
be tapped

Ive lived among teasers
sly heart handlers
like garden processor
turning Love like ruttabeggars
but...that fire and folding
and bending and smashing
in the forge of cruelty
made me stronger and
flexible and able to hold
my own edge
then the malleable metal
I once was
and
they expect only the best
metal and steel
the fire women
and thats what I like
the sparks....

but yes...being
rejected and spurned
is a drag...

makes for making
great poetry though

thank U!

alidzain

Thu, 2016-09-15 14:25

alidzain's picture

for the visit, the read and the comment.

Alid

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