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deeper
I’d love to expect nothing,
but I take a deep breathe,
I carry on, reading books to
pass the time, on rush of
thoughts buried in my head,
flustered within, I’m torn
apart from reality, now I’m
deep diving into my own world.
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
Is the internal logic consistent?
[This option has been removed]
Last few words:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=36x_JYwLuRY&t=23513s
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Geezer
Fri, 2022-03-04 03:11
This will...
lead one into a story that begs to be finished. Yes, the internal logic is consistent. One criticism; on wards is supposed to be one word: [onwards]. ~Geezer.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Candlewitch
Fri, 2022-03-04 09:28
hello,
this work of self discovery is fantastic and begs for more. I would love to see you continue the story!
*hugs, Cat
ever, eddy
*
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Tracey Underwood
Fri, 2022-03-04 14:58
Loved it
This is great for feeling the plight of the soul. I would love to see you expand on it and bring it out more. Great job!
Love and light. Namaste.