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Deceiver Deceived

Here he goes again,
preying with his looks,
savouring his conquests as he sins
then he discards them
when he is tired of the game
and move forward to seek a new prey.
Not regretting his deeds,

he perceives he is the perfect man
envied by others...
When his youth is over,
stripped away by the hands of time,
he will realize that he has been living a lie

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
Tell me the honest truth.I want to learn.
Editing stage: 


Welcome to neopoet. I don't write a lot of free verse myself so I kind of hesitate offering others advice on that form. But here goes anyway lol. All I can do is say what changes I would make. First I'd put a stanza break between line 7 and 8. This divides the poem into 2 complete thoughts and also give the reader a pause to absorb what they just read. There are some lines I'd have written differently but upon review the wouldn't really improve the poem. With one exception I think : line 8 try "He perceives himself the perfect man". This kinda enhances that it's only he who thinks so. Enjoyed the read............stan

for the comment and teaching. much appreciated.


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