Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

The death unsung

Circles were many
That I’ve left in the course of life.
With them left behind
Were those staunch friends and well wishers.

Events were many
That I had in the process of life.
With them left behind
Were those endeared and longed for.

Now I turned yellow
Those with me have not seen my green.
Soon I’d go pale dry
When those with me would see my ash.

Every old one dies
Unsung by the people present,
Who haven’t seen his green,
His friends knowing not his death at all.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
How does this theme appeal to you?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 


Welcome back. This poem is crisp and describes the evolution of life in its true perspective. Food reflective verses about how one looks back in the autumn of life. Wishing you good health and hope you are enjoying these good years of life.


raj (sublime_ocean)

I notice that you have been a member here for over three years and this is your first piece, it reflects the loneliness brought on by being 72 or near that age, I was 72 two weeks ago, I write and do many things and there are not enough hours in the day.
I think we all would like to read more of your works and see if there are any things we need to adjust, as with this one, did you mean "I'd" or should it have been "I'll" these tiny things make for a better work, and can easily be missed.
Anyway, there are quite a few poets here from India maybe you should form a group and help each other and at the same time be a big part of Neo, Yours Ian.T

Soon I’d go pale dry

There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

(c) No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.