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ON DEAF EARS

Stay! you hands, don't move so fast,
or at least slow down a bit.
Too quickly "now" fades to the past
and I already have too much of it.

Cease your endless headlong race,
give me a pause to catch my breath
as hours speed across your face
hastening all toward our death.

Is it that you do not realize
just yesterday I was a child
who ran and played with joyful cries
with imagination free and wild ?

So stop those tics of passing life,
let mainspring wheel no longer turn.
Allow my present to run rife,
I've little enough time to burn.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
though none of the suggested titles were used, they all gave me ideas which led to this title. Thank you all
Editing stage: 

Comments

Liked this one " Sweeping Hands " would just about sum it up lol.
It is an age thing where time pieces seem to run with the wind not the Wind, tic, toc, then playing again not the whirling cogs of tic, tac, toe, and on the playing with words go as time goes flashing by, lol..
Take care young woodsman, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

I felt the angst in this one, I don't know what else to say but bravo lol....

love Jayne xxx

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

emmm.. I agree with Ian. This one is about age. How about "A Plea To Time"?

Alid

A good idea. I'll await some more suggestions then make up my mind. Appreciate your thoughtful response.......stan

author comment

Caging time...title suggestion....

Love x

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

Another good idea. If I get enough multi-word title suggestions I might have to combine them all into a free verse poem lol.........stan

author comment

A fluent read, and much enjoyed. The pace... a bit quick ;)
For a title? I see some good suggestions have already been made. I might look to reference watch timing or watch timing machines.

logic

raffy

Yes, the pace of time is quick and quickens by the year lol. Thanks for your title suggestions as well as the time to read and comment.......stan

author comment

Liking the title you've chosen!

logic

raffy

Although I didn't use any of the much appreciated suggested titles they Did get me to thinking and this title resulted.............stan

author comment

Great choice there Stan..
Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

It was all the suggestions which resulted in that title.....thanks..........stan

author comment

I like your title. Appropriate for the theme of your poem. Very nice.

Titles can be a real boost to a poem can't they? I'm pleased you liked this one..............stan

author comment

hastening all toward our death.

this I don't at all agree with
Do you know BIG
older Bush,
jumped from a helicopter at 90
he wasn't trying to hasten death
but perhaps wanted a snap mid page
at that youthful age
which he sustained at 90

and
the other day
the oldest guy did lay
at 111 he didn't have a mind to go away
but then was he not kept in an ICU
and why not,if not

as also Nelson Mandela
was alive till a ripe old age
till he died
so many cried well

death is a distant dream
some day we all will grace it ,
it so does seem
so amend your beautiful version
with grace
let not anyone find of fear of death a trace.
Kindly friend do it with grace.

loved

Death is the final destination for all of us isn't it? And sometimes it comes as a blessing. Perhaps I'll be lucky an die while dragging out the biggest deer I ever killed and thus my last sight will be one wrapped in nature.........doubt I'll be that lucky though lol..........stan

author comment

think of those
who should go
but can't

they spend all theirs life's savings
for just .. a few days more with us
tc

our time is not far
many dawns we have seen together
may be I have seen many more
but that's just a poetic lure!

if Jess reads this
he will curse me
so keep low
life has shown and given many a mighty blow
tc friend
continue in the chair
to all poets be just and fair..
take care

soon I shall be gone
merged in the wilderness
perhaps meditating for the well being
of all Neo's

Just wait and see time alone can tell
who we all are in hell

with fondest love for all
from
loved

loved

At least I can Remember being young lol. But when one reaches 3 score it becomes glaringly obvious that the number of years left pale in comparison to the ones passed. But I'm not ready to go or give up yet so I'll just keep on pushing against that ol' clock............stan

author comment

they say time and tide
wait for no man
so what more can I say
flow with the tide
time one can't withstand
it comes at a moment
when no one is at hand

it nearly came yesterday
to take me...

about time we came
and went
ur only three score
Perhaps 4 me add plus ten

Haahhaahaaa
mentally friend
the bard who smiles
all the while

ASK IAN

loved

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