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Daze Maze:
Visionaries deem
That vaunted National Dream
Has run out of steam
Last few words:
Thanks to Keith Logan's suggestion for the improved reformatted Rhyku.
Editing stage:
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Comments
Keith Logan
Tue, 2016-10-25 01:35
Try it this way round
Visionaries deem,
seems to have run out of steam,
our national dream.
Keith Logan
the happy chappy
https://www.neopoet.com/community-guidelines
OriginalRhyku
Tue, 2016-10-25 04:41
Happy Day
Thanks for your valued suggestion - hope that the reformatted version including your suggested first line meets with your approval.
author commentKeith Logan
Thu, 2016-10-27 07:56
I am honoured
that you found something useful within my crit. Not something that happens a lot.
Keith Logan
the happy chappy
https://www.neopoet.com/community-guidelines
Candlewitch
Tue, 2016-10-25 12:59
hello,
I like your civic-minded poetry. we could all learn a lot from you!
always, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
OriginalRhyku
Tue, 2016-10-25 13:44
Cat
You are being gracious in your praise. I learn a lot from reading all of your poetry since all of you have varied life experiences.
My poetry can be deemed to be boring and trite by some people and is based on the views of an armchair philosopher viewing the world not as it is but as it should be according to the armchair philosopher.
author comment