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A daughter that never was

a daughter that never was
is framed in my mind life like
a toddler with a naughty look
with wobbly feet and crawl

for her I coined umpteen names
from jungle books and cartoon flicks
some quickly popped out of air
while some faded away with time

from rompers, frocks and skirts
she soon grew into the jumpers
her years moved too fast for me
from a toddler to her teens

when I stroll along the streets
with her arm hooked into mine
she grabs all the attention
of all the handsome eyes

as I now gather her bits and things
strewn around in my mind
i piece them all together
in sequence of past times-

a day when I went shopping
in a book store near her parlor
a book stared right back at me
with "A dad I never saw" inscribed

I picked that book from the shelf
and held it close to my breast
soon tears rolled down my eyes
to bubble kiss its every page

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

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I may think about your suggestion...not sure..

thanks for letting me know your view about chest and breast which to be honest is pretty cheap comment and lacks understanding of the context in which breast is used here...
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raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment

..

for the read and connecting so well with the sentiment of this poem. Thanks too for the suggestion. I will give it a thought..
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raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment

for taking time to read and your comment. Coming from accomplished poets like you and mark mean a lot for someone who is on a learning curve.

I know what made you uncomfortable which is why I have revised the line by deleting the word "peeps"...the beauty of a daughter being appreciated by others is welcome isn't it?

Thanks again
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raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment

Noted your comment.....
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raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment

I read this pieceĺ when you first posted and come back to read again
Not sure what to say actually or how to say it but I thought this is really touching. It reflects that tenderness which parents seek in females especially. I don't want to sound mean, men are also great sons.
Nice one dear friend. It told me much about you.
Thank you

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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for the read and comment...appreciate it...
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raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment
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