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THE DARKNESS THAT LINGERS STILL (October Contest)

Africa is the darkness that lingers still
A fur of Savannah that spreads through,
A blanket of forest that grins.

It absorbs the sun rays, but turn it into darkness;
Blackness, of course, they see it different,
How can bamboo monkeys be so rich?

So they come to us with an assumed superiority attitude,
We are supposed to be wretched of the earth
Blessed with this exclusive race of benevolent souls,
That brings aid to our uncivilized corners.

A Bible, a Cross, a Rifle, a Chain.
It ought not to surprise you that
they retain the same attitude…
Age-long plunder on our soul!

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

it happens that in starting to write of a thing, it gets away from me and winds up being a thing entirely different than what I started out to write. I understand that all too well. Especially when a write of passion becomes so evident. Your country is a well of life and the nexus of geneology for many peoples. However, in the writing of this for the October contest, you have neglected to mention either [windows or doors], which is the theme of the contest. I would suggest that you include a verse that
brings them into focus. Maybe a line about how the doors or windows of the "civilized" world being shut and locked against your people? Just a suggestion, but certainly something to think about. ~ Geez.
.

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amazing truly amazing how these words took hold of me I now eel somewhat disjointed beautiful rite I wish you the best of luck in winning the contest I saw one very small error second stanza line one add an "s" to turns please

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