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DAMN YANKEE ( for Lonnie)
One who served when others fled
and paid the price in sleepless nights
recalling comrades he's seen dead
and war's other horrid sights.
A guy who came from Yankee land
down here to where folks still recall
how lives were spilled like crimson sand
answering that rebel call.
I found him here one bygone day
writing verse with his own flair.
Deciding he'd come here to stay.
A displaced kind of northern bear.
So I'd read his poetry
which flowed as smooth as glass
And sometimes, even, he'd read me
though I'm hardly in his class.
So it went for many years
two old guys baring heart and soul
both facing mortality's fears
both watching friends put down in holes.
Me a rebel, him a yank
him northern bred me from the south
(neither of us very swank)
Neither knowing when to shut our mouth.
And now he's gone to the beyond
likely laughing that he beat me there
and fishing at a clear bass pond.
All I can do is sit and stare.............
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words:
For Lonnie
Editing stage:
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Comments
raj
Thu, 2018-03-08 05:14
Stan
I can pretty well guess that this poem was stimulated by passing away of Lonnie and you used this poem not only as a tribute to a great poet and friend but also as a medium to let out your emotions...so in more ways than one for me this feels like your emotional tribute....hope writing this helped to somewhat ease the loss...
............................
raj (sublime_ocean)
scribbler
Thu, 2018-03-08 09:18
Yep
Lonnie actually moved to within a few hours of me. i figured I'd visit and actually meet him one of these days........had no idea that one of these days wouldn't come
author commentGeezer
Thu, 2018-03-08 09:58
As per usual...
your rough hewn, sylvan poetry has hit the mark. I know that Lonnie would have loved this tribute as I'm sure that he liked and respected you at least as much as you, him. You are right about his character, he was a straight shooter who said what he meant and meant what he said. I was always happy to see him post here and wish that we could see more of his work. That is not to be, but we at least, have had the pleasure of his company for a while. Goodnight Lonnie, sleep well, you have done a good job..
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
scribbler
Thu, 2018-03-08 12:34
We......
too often don't know what we have until it's gone........i didn't even know he was sick
author commentchevyvent
Thu, 2018-03-08 10:18
Stan
it has to be said that you are an incredible poet author. these days, though, my poems are void of appreciation points. may it now be anointed with the truth that, as I hold my head in both of my hands, I hear my verses crying oh well bye
Poetry can have a tendency to be abstract by intention especially considering it is written as an expression of self so naturally only the author will have a full understanding
your poems are fuelled with a profound knowledge of everything, both human and surreal. keep up with your fine words because they sing for love, god and the other side
Mario Vitale
scribbler
Thu, 2018-03-08 12:39
Hi Chevy
Man, I really have you fooled lmao. But thank you. As to poetry being merely an expression of self and not understood by any but the writer.....i must disagree. What good is it to put something on this or any other site which others can't understand? That happy medium between being too abstract to be understood and just abstract enough to allow multiple interpretations is a fine one ain't it? .......stan
author commentEumolpus
Thu, 2018-03-08 16:17
your poem
At first I thought was a universal tale, with a very moving ending. It has the rhythm and rhyme of one of my favorites, Robert Service. Then I saw the Lonnie's name in the notes. I think you might consider placing the dedication in the body of the poem, "To Lonnie", as is so often done through the ages of poetry. I think Lonnie would approve!
I remember his poem about the homeless- a great and powerful work. Wish I knew more about him, and will look forward to the comments by those who did.
Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings
scribbler
Thu, 2018-03-08 16:54
Hello
Lonnie was a Vietnam vet who was still hated by both the war and the way those who fought there were treated upon their return. His innate sense of rhythm drove me crazy because I really have to work on it myself. I reckon he was the best rhyming poet not only on site but on Any site I've visited. His range of subjects was extensive. And like me he really liked the outdoors although I think he preferred fishing to hunting. I can't think of any other member who never ran or participated in any site positions or affairs who made a more lasting impression.........I'll think about the for Lonnie thing buy I hesitate because some might construe that as using this loss to garner readers.....stan
author commentGeezer
Thu, 2018-03-08 20:46
There are some...
that I might consider doing just that; using the loss of one of the finest poets ever here for the gain of readership; but never you Stan! I have the utmost respect for you and the things that you write. I know that you and Lonnie had a good relationship and you had his respect also. ~ Gee.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
scribbler
Thu, 2018-03-08 22:23
Hi Geeze
Thank you
author comment