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Daddy's Little Girl (The Beginning of Nevermore)

She was born into death
Mother died shortly
Before her first breath

Baby girl taken
From the womb
A little too soon
Left In her Father's care

A husband's grief
Too much to bare
His only love
Gone forever
The madness crept in

Once upon a time
He had been a normal man

All he had left
Was this little angel
Whom he loved
In more ways
Than a father should

He molded her
Styling her hair
Painting her face
Recreating another time
Another place

Educating her
From the bedroom suite

Kept her away
In the house on the hill
Bound by leafless trees
And the gag in her mouth

He did the shopping
And all the errands
While she never left the house

Her job was to please him
To thrill and tease him
Curbing his appetite

She was to care for him
Like her mother would
Just a darling child
Doing as she was told
How was this little girl to know
It was very wrong

He loved her like no other
Convinced her no man could
And upon his death
Unleashed a beast so vile
The world just shuddered

Her love for him
Turned to rage
An uncontrollable thirst
Daddy's Little Girl
Now an abandoned woman-child
Left alone with her thoughts

She screamed at his corpse
Dragging him down the cellar stairs
Throwing him into his favorite chair

There you go, Daddy
She sang as she went
Just like you always said
There will never be another
Those who try
Will end up dead

Me and you forever, Daddy
In our magical wonderland

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Last few words: 
The beginning of Nevermore
Editing stage: 


I don't know what I expected when I bagan reading this but the simplicity in describing the wrongness conveyed in the poem makes it much more powerful than lurid details would have, Now being me I guess I must suggest at least one change lol. last line 3rd stanza, consider and instead of as.............stan

For your suggestion. I will plug it in later on and see how it works. I let the poem write itself. I had tried a more lurid approach and found myself having difficulty writing such things, so I simplified it and let it go at that. It set the stage for my other NEVERMORE poems, which are a little more explicit and lurid. There were so many things going on with each of the characters (father/daughter) and the circumstances surrounding the change in personalities. It was pointed out to me that my poems don't have much reason, just chaos. There is nothing to attract readers to my character so I thought a little background may be helpful. Thank you again for the read and comment!!

Keep Writing,

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

author comment

The good thing about hinting at something like this is that the reader will usually let the hint lead to something much more lurid than most writers can describe.Stephen King is a master at such understatement as you displayed here...........stan

A huge fan of Stephen King. I feel honored that you saw some of his technique in my writing. Have you read my other Nevermore poems?

Keep Writing,

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

author comment

I seem to recall maybe having read one. But I've been so busy in the real world and with my workshop lately that what little I've read outside of shop poems have been read quickly. Hopefully with shop winding down I'll have more time soon...........stan

We are all busy in our "real" lives. Mine has taken a very chaotic turn and I have been using free moments to write as an outlet to release some of the stress. Whenever you get a chance to stop by and read them, the first is simply titled NEVERMORE, followed by BLOODY AFFAIR and then STRIP POKER. She started as an alter-ego and now has become much more. Thank you for your comments!! Appreciate them all!!!

Keep Writing,

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

author comment

A very well written piece I had missed this one, just goes to show can't read them all.
One thing I will say as the start is so powerful try not to stretch the story too much, but there again Wesley's Epic is miles long from the birth of a child.
There are many ways to go now with this one "Psycho" springs to mind, and the torment of that Bates man.
Still there are so many things that can happen, have a great journey,
Yours Ian.T

There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Thank you for your comments. I do understand that we can't read everything that is put up but I do have three other poems featuring NEVERMORE as an adult. The first is titled NEVERMORE, gives an introduction to her as she is as an adult, followed by BLOODY AFFAIR and then STRIP POKER. I decided to write a background piece on her as it was pointed out to me there was no reason to her, only chaos and that there was no reason for anyone to care about her, no purpose to my writing. Like I said to Stan she began as an alter ego, an outlet for my frustrations and has turned into someone, a character, we can feel for, almost come to life. At least that is my hope for her. Thank you again for your comments and insight.

Keep Writing,

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

author comment
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