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CUTTING FIREWOOD
I'm off to gather some firewood
where once a copse of hardwoods stood
a place of but stumps and waste tree tops
cleared in the month of acorn drops.
It is a late mid-winter day
with cold winds and sky of gray.
That tree lap near the logging road
will go far in making up a load .
So I park the truck right near
get out the saw and all the gear
but take a pause to look around
at wildlife's former running ground.
Scattered cedars are all that's left
of other trees the scene's bereft.
Skidder paths are wide and deep
in this former falcon's keep.
Alas, my wood pile's growing small.
Ere long I will have none at all;
time that I'd best get to work.
The saw cranks with one smooth jerk.
The dry oak top just falls apart
( to make it do so is an art )
until I've cut up near a cord
and loaded it on my old Ford.
It's time to stow all my tools now
while wiping cold sweat from wrinkled brow.
The sun clears 'tween the clouds and trees.
I inhale the saw dust-scented breeze.
I board the truck and slam the door
then crank it up with muffled roar.
I need to unload ere darkness falls
for now my love and warm hearth calls.
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
scribbler
Thu, 2010-12-09 18:02
firewood
The warmth passed back to me by way of your kind comment.........................stan
author commentscribbler
Sun, 2011-04-10 08:59
hello
I've never heated with coal but often used wood burning heaters. Hope spring warmth gets to you soon
author commentscribbler
Sun, 2011-04-10 09:03
hello
here if you own the land you can cut anything you want. Often people who have had their land logged will let you in to cut and clean up "waste" tree laps. One can also get a permit to cut storm toppled trees on public land.....................stan
author commentscribbler
Sun, 2011-04-10 09:12
hello Eph
I appreciate the read and in depth suggestions. I'll check them out and consider all in edit............scribbler
author commentlou
Sun, 2011-04-10 08:12
Stan
All the corrections that I would have suggested have already been mentioned by the above ( and I don't mean God LOL).
So all I wanted to say is that I really enjoyed this one.
love lou
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!
scribbler
Sun, 2011-04-10 09:14
hi lou
To tell the truth , I was just going through editing some of my stuff and didn't expect any comments lol. Always glad to hear from you and glad you liked this................stan
author commentvexations10
Sun, 2011-04-10 10:04
Solid
I like this vivid picture of you at work and
vexations
scribbler
Sun, 2011-04-10 10:21
hi vex
People rust out quicker than they wear out lol.So I'll keep working as long as I can. Always good to have you visit.......scribbler
author commentGeezer
Fri, 2011-04-29 07:39
I have...
experienced the kind of day that you have set in this scene. I have lived in rural areas, where there are people that still heat with wood and coal. I worked for a man that had a contract to clear power lines of overhanging branches and dead growth. They would put me out at the bottom of a pwer line, and I would be alone for the day. Just me, lunch, radio, and tools. [ Including gallon of gas, can of oil]. Those were some of the best days of work I have ever had! Thanks for bringing those days back. ~ Gee
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
scribbler
Fri, 2011-04-29 08:12
hi Geeze
During the oil embargo I installed a wood heater in my house. And there IS something very satisfying in cutting your own source of heat. Glad to have brought you some fond memories............stan
author commentmagics02
Fri, 2011-04-29 08:16
Stan
I can vision this you working at the firewood. The only thing i can say right now is try and get rid of all the BUTs in the beginning of the sentences. When you read it aloud you will see that it sounds better and you have not lost the meanings.
BUT I say")
It is only me and my thought on it. Other then you can shorten it up a bit. And not lose the story inthe middle of it. sorry having hard time to type agin today.
Mona Mia
scribbler
Fri, 2011-04-29 08:34
hi mona
I know I have too Much but , was not aware I had too Many buts lol. As you probably know I'm always tinkering with my old stuff like this one. I will be sure to keep your ideas in mind when I tinker with this one again in next day or so. Thanks for the read and suggestions and hope your back is getting a bit better..........stan
author commentscribbler
Fri, 2011-04-29 09:22
Hello Ian
Ere long I fear my strolls through the wood will be by imagination only lol. Thanks for visiting this old edit..........stan
author commentmagics02
Fri, 2011-04-29 09:48
hello friend
yes I tinker with the old ones too and boy do they need work, i dont think a work is ever polished until it goes through a huhaul over a couple of times. that is my reasoning. no my back not good. neck pain has gone into pinky and ring finger no feeling for 4 days horrible going to see neuro soon the heck with these doctors dont know what they doing and i am now proactive with my health as it is my body not their pocketbook or their body. you have to go through the system and know from experience what they try to pull but not with me...my body talks my mind talks and i know when i need to run away from doctors that are only intersted in the grred ofyour insurance company.. did i say something political oh yes i did insurance companies raking us over the coals. I feel like petitioning it all someday I may just do that. for now type with left hand three fingers only it is hard to do and lots of errors so i wont be writing much poetry till i can get the feeling s back oh what a mess im in but guess what great spirit says this all shall pass and i will be renewed in health of body once agin, how long it will be i dont know but sure knocked the heck out of me this old spine of mine,,,,hey that will be my next poetic write This old Spine zof zMine..we will see sorry this is so darn butting long
love to you and sue
mona
Nordic cloud
Sun, 2011-05-01 13:35
watching a master
"It's time to stow all my tools now
while wiping cold sweat from my brow"..only these two lines seemed to trip slightly on the rhythm. How lovely and yet not, the woods disappearing always leave one hole more in my heart, the hedges too where the birds find places to nest, in Norway there are so few.
The chopping of wood is an art and watching a master at it is wonderful, the rhythm there is magical as the logs fall away making their last but one music, possibly the last is in the actual fire they are used for, when the pungent smell of oak wood burning fills the air with its vapours.
Love to you Stan, a lovely poem as aye, Ann.
"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.
scribbler
Sun, 2011-05-01 17:39
hello
I'll check out those 2 lines and see what I can come up with. Mayhap this winter will be the time to write of the woodfire.................stan
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