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Curves and Paint and Rain

Submitted by Michael Anthony on Thu, 2021-03-18 23:52

I can’t touch the curve of a rainbow,
or use its’ colors to paint
Who counts the drops in a downpour?

Don’t be silly!

But my heart is a stubborn thing sometimes,
and it thinks: “All you have to do is try.
The first thing you must do is reach.”

So, we painted stories without end
I felt the tender hues of your curves,
and I tossed aside my umbrella
as we began to count the rain

Review Request (Intensity):

I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Review Request (Direction):

What did you think of my title?

What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?

How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Editing stage:

Editing - polished draft

Content level:

Not Explicit Content

Comments

Michael Anthony

Sun, 2021-03-21 13:06

I was happy with imagery too,

I was happy with imagery too, thank you. I know it's probably cliché, but I've always felt a particular attachment to rainbows, but I have, so far, avoided the urge to look for their end, LOL. Glad you liked this one.

Best

Michael Anthony

author comment

Geezer

Fri, 2021-03-19 08:09

I see...

the magic of love! I really like the mixture of touching the intangible curve of the rainbow, feeling the curves of your tender hues and the rather impossible task of counting raindrops. All very esoteric and wonderful! ~ Geez.
.

Comments and critique are vital to this site!
Even if you just say: I liked this story or your spelling
of a word is wrong, take the time to write a line or two
and comment. Your fellow poets will thank you!
.

Michael Anthony

Sun, 2021-03-21 13:07

Thanks Geez! This was a fun

Thanks Geez! This was a fun write for me.

Michael Anthony

author comment

Mark

Sat, 2021-03-20 04:00

When came the thunder

Oh I could here that so clearly in the end.
Past the wonder of the first few drops of a gentle storm all the way to the peaceful rainbow.
Well, it was there in my mind.
What a beauty, Mike,

THE MARK
.
If you take the time to read a poem then take the time to let the author know you were there. Study it and form an opinion as well, even if it means going back to it more than once. That is basic critique, what Neopoet is all about.

Michael Anthony

Sun, 2021-03-21 13:09

The thunder seems to always

The thunder seems to always come before the rainbows, so I it feels like rainbows are a kind of peace offering from storms, as well as their inspiration for this piece.

Best

Michael Anthony

author comment

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Curves and Paint and Rain