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CRYSTALLED CRACKS (Imagery Workshop)EDITED.
CRYSTALLED CRACKS
Listen to the still of winters exit
lulled in the heat of march midday
hear the great tit shout for joy
see the silver drips
that drop from snow-clung clumps in trees
smell the sudden brew of autumn's pungent leaves
the sky reflected deep deep blue
in pools of melted ice
too fresh to taste
icicles tumble, heavy thuds
their crystal forms crazed, cracked
transformed to lacy netting
holed and patched
cold to the touch
windows through which
the brown of earth and stone is glimpsed
beyond that stiff white coat
that held all life in cheque
while nature took her nap
today the first of march
its hot the temperature at twelve
the sky devoid of clouds
the colours like a wash of turquoise
paler where the forest meets the light
dark still in contrast black.
Style / type:
Free verse
Last few words:
Several imageries mixed here. Ann.
Editing stage:
Workshop:
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Comments
scribbler
Sat, 2012-03-17 14:40
Hmmm........
Were supposed to stay with same subject but I will not have you horse whipped for mistake lol. You are right about a lot if imagery types in here. I have a few alternatives you might consider which might lend more exact images
L-4 change silver to crystal
L-6 change collaged to brewing( old leaves slowly disintegrating in dampness actually Do brew tannic acid)
L-10 I see why you wanted to not use crystal in L-4 . But glassine will work well here
Looks like only imagery not used is tactile and olfactory.................stan
Nordic cloud
Sun, 2012-03-18 03:42
...now perhaps I have them all!
Thank you stan, yes now perhaps I have them all!
You didn't like collage-those little layers of leaves glued to surfaces,
or stacked like cards.
This has been fun stan thank you Ann.
"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.
author commentCandlewitch
Sun, 2012-03-18 14:20
Dear Ann,
I think you covered them all! Great job! I really liked these lines:
cold to the touch
windows though which
the brown of earth and stone is glimpsed
beyond that stiff white coat
that held all life in cheque
while nature took her nap
always, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Nordic cloud
Sun, 2012-03-18 15:17
Thank you Cat, you also
Thank you Cat, you also pointed out a spelling mistake I made in through, I had though!!
Through and thought and through they sometimes get mixed don't they?
yes I liked that I came across nature taking a nap...:)
Nordic cloud.
"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.
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