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Critique you did

Critique you did
Insight
inspiration
desperation
perspiration
admiration
then comes
excitation
and
composition
thereafter
recitation
and
now
do read this
composition
an
exploration
and
extemporation

Critique....
This is one of the most
beautiful and intense poems
I have ever read
since decades…
as an extempore poet
untrained
from my heart emanates emotions
how?
that really I can't say
but your lovely poem,
has taken my heart today
love is a gift from the divine,
to you that's all
I can now say

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

I not "Will", but "Will" say this.
Your words held my reading mind all the way through, then I had this thought.
That each of those main words in your expression could make a poem in their own rights.
This also sounded like a person rebelling against normality in poetic forms to put across a point at each main word, shall we leave this one on and add the extra pieces for your main words as they evolve,
Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

For a moment, it looked like one Lewis Carroll poem I read a while back. It does have some consistency in it, but you seemed to wander off from the line "love is a gift from divine".

I would have preferred an article there: "love is a gift from the divine".

Down from the line "critique...", you clearly broke into another voice. I liked the first part, and still don't see how it could have ended with a short discussion on "love". The only consistency there is that you "loved" wrote the piece.

If you just typed this extempore, as you say in the poem, it definitely feels like it.

No verse is free for the man who wants to do a good job. - TS Eliot

http://www.wsgeorge.com/

It was and is extempore
shall make an effort I implore
to make it unlike loved's any more.
in poetry
tis better we leave grammar at home
else we all will be composing MONO TONE

loved ur sarcasm

The only consistency there is
that you "loved" wrote the piece.

are u born on a fifth of a month??
or your total dob adds upto 5
LIKE 21 09 1987 ADD ALL ==??37
URS SHOULD ADD UP TO A BASIC DIGIT 5==SARCASM/SARCASTIC EXPERTS..HAHAHAAHHA THANKS FOR UR EDUCATION FRND

loved

author comment

The beginning is stunningly good,
I love it, but then your old "Kjepphest" (flogged horse in Norwegian)
came back into the equation and destroyed the stream of thought,
abruptly changing the subject.
Two poems here.

You grind your axe so hard it will loose all possibility of being sharp.
Go stoke your fire, for it is there in the embers.

Ann.

P.S.You're not the only one with a Kjepphest here!

"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.

where were you
and
why did you not

''Kjepphest''''

this dumb horse earlier
else i wouldnt have lost my reputation.

I have since modified below
as a new comment
if you'd be gracious to approve,
I shall replace the above
so that I don't get kjepp ...what!
again

P.S.You're ...not... the only one with a Kjepphest here!==
I am sailing in the same boat
thanks for this consolation .

loved

author comment

Ann has given you some good advice, and she has given it beautifully. I read all of your posts though i don't always crit or comment. Please turn that wonderful poetic gift of yours to a more positive vane. Regards Roscoe...

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

Critique you did
Insight
inspiration
desperation
perspiration
admiration
then comes
excitation
and
composition
thereafter
recitation
and
now
do read this
composition
an
exploration
and
extemporation

Critique....
This is one of the most
beautiful and intense poems
I have ever read
since decades…
as an extempore poet
untrained
from my heart emanates emotions
how?
that really I can't say
but your lovely poem,
has taken my heart today
love is a gift from the divine,
to you that's all
I can now say

loved

author comment

and so pathetic at the same time.

Concentrate on what you are writing, for whom, not on getting attention.

This is possibly the first time I have said you have great talent, but you always spoil it by demanding attention like a little girl.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Directors

a glass half full
please read my redo comment too

ur really beautiful

A gal always lives in hope
and
looks towards heaven..upwards

men always look down wards there
don't you??
we all hanker for that what we have not
' tisn't it true

still I love to
Thank you

loved

author comment

not by asking for it.
Loved, you are utterly splendid, in many ways, or, as I've said before, I would not comment on your poetry at all. There are utterly worthless poets here and you are not one of them.

I only sincerely suggest that you write about anything except getting read. It is so sad and so try-hard. You are much better than that.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Directors

"My Child" is asking for you to critique the words gathered thus for her.
Such words were of the Ether.
They I did capture and play a lively tune.
Yet no one sees them
Does this mean they are of little worth.
Can it be I have erred in my ways
I did break with the ways of words that flew from my quill,
They in their place could only carry Ten syllables per line
as a forfeit to their being.
The words therefore did not ask to be ignored or forsaken
Laying bereft of thought by others
as they adorn an open page
I beseech you to give them your eye
To transpose them into thought
Where another mortal may send to me a cleft stick
Bearing a message no matter its tone.
Have a great day,
Yours Sparrow

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

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