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Create poem

poem body
gleaning and dusted
cretin finish
from a luster proletariat bohemian

rolls well
greased with vodka
and nicotine
cafienne and tragic love

but ive given up the ghosts
and lived in the ruins
leaning on the doorframe
with a sardonic sanctimonious

my Olivetti in the corner
onionskin like parchment
and a fresh roll of ink ribbon
from staples

my new celly from the step

this angle world
i slide through
like bended funhouse mirrors
i know im lost
freed and tossed
the new year
like a foggy field we inhale
the forest mystery
the dawn yet forth far away
and every gnawed on ache
and pain

twirling my temper on a chain
like keys
my twin leaning through the bars
talking with his hands
the back wall open to the stars
the sun and wind

rubble foxes
and stubble neglect

i need to move
for the electri cal outlet
girls doing their hair live....

Editing stage: 


I really enjoyed this poem. I think you have a very distinct style and the lack of capital letters and small misspellings gives your poem character. I don't think many people can successfully accomplish that, but you do. If I could make a suggestion, I would bring the idea of "create poem" back on the last stanza. You start with it with the title and first stanza, it would be cool to see the poem come full circle with "finish poem" at the end.

I hope you don't mind my suggestions; I think the poem is astounding.

Critique, don't comment.
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i like your idea there.....just basically pulled the intro from the site
here..done it before long ago.....but never thought to put that finish
touch to it.....and the imperfections which i cringe at when typing
well you have put it well by saying the dents scratchs and hiccups
make it all original.....thank you\\\\1

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