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Cracks creep out of the hole in my heart
Splitting, splintering me apart.
I try, with hot tears, to seal them close –
Each crack a canyon which my grief flows
Down in streams of boiling tears;
This grief only widens and deepens my fears.
I wish to be healed! For this bitter rust
Corrodes, like acid, my broken trust.

Cracks like a web seaming me through
‘Till pieces break off – first one, then two
Fall and are lost in the yawning void:
Pieces of me – lost and destroyed.
Alas! Who will help me? I’m falling apart!
Oh, gather the pieces of my broken heart-
There’s nothing left now, naught but this hole
Wherefrom the cracks came – wherein lies my soul.

Cracks, reaching out with their clawèd hands
To wrap my soul in shattering bands.
One touch more and I break for good –
These streams of tears turned into blood.
I cry: “Will no one heal this soul?
That fears to be broke and longs to be whole?”
But no - the silence reechoes my lack.
I shiver. I break. I fall through the crack.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content


Thank you so much for your encouraging words. I am so glad this poem spoke to you - the broken heart is indeed familiar among so many (and, I feel, especially poets).
Really? That's great! (if I may ask, what is one of your favorite quotes by him)
And thank you so much for the welcome. I can hardly wait to participate more!

"To reveal art and conceal the artist is art's true aim." Oscar Wilde

author comment

closed I think is what you meant
powerful poem I did enjoy reading this
A very warm welome to Neo Poet I believe you will be an asset to the site


check out our chat room open to all 24/7

Hmmm, you make a good point. I will have to think about it (whether to sacrifice good grammar for rhyme or good rhyme for grammar. Ahhh, decisions! XD)
Thank you! I look forward to participating in NeoPoet. I can hardly say how excited I am. And thanks for the info, I'll drop by the chat room later!

"To reveal art and conceal the artist is art's true aim." Oscar Wilde

author comment

I like it, took me to a place I have never liked: broken relationships.

Lots of reasons for it, death, sickness, crass-ness, infidelity, distancing, lust. Wonder which one you were coming from on this piece?

Welcome to the site.

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The perspective I came from for this poem, actually, was after I had had an argument with my Mom (this was a while ago, so I am not sure I remember specifically) and just the frustration of conversing with someone you feel like should care and it's so obvious they don't. There was a lot more to it at the time, but that's what I still remember: wondering why it hurt so much to have had that argument and finally see how crushed I really was by the coldness of a parent who I wished would just love me as much as I love her.
I am glad this poem spoke to you. Thank you so much for the welcome.

"To reveal art and conceal the artist is art's true aim." Oscar Wilde

author comment
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