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cool down man

cool down man

you can't make everyone
listen!
many like me are
deaf and blind
in search of one
none can find

so leave your temper
far behind,
take God
out of your mind

cool down!

but you can't prohibit
poetry
that god alone does define
the critiques here
may refine....

Why this anger
I wonder
who so ever does
blunder
will get their share
why do you alone
about the unknown
so much
care...

cool down!
man!!!

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

Yes it is best to not let religions preoccupy one's mind. As long as any belief is not forced upon you what difference does it make what another does or doesn't believe anyway? Thanks for posting..........stan

for taking time
to comment and elaborate
friendly Stan
the only man!

loved

author comment

I think this poem has a lot of substance. It says a lot. Thought where you have him/her have you thought of putting "their" . Just a thought. I like the emotion in the poem. I read your comment on River. Thank you.

Write On!

The Unknown Poet

Make a donation we can't stay without poets like you.

the her /him part
came as an after thought
as per your advice
i have rectified
hope you are satisfied...
young lady!

loved

author comment

Satisfied I am!

The Unknown Poet

Make a donation we can't stay without poets like you.

sense of wisdom
and more important is humour
which across the globe
I've traversed searching...
tis monumentally lacking

devil knows how to laugh once in a while
but here at times snobbishness is in style

take your while
till they praise you
but remember that all flatterers are not really true

save your skin
by the yards if you will
saving ones own life
ere another does kill
is no sin...

loved

author comment

You write more eloquently here than you have done for a while.

You know the mere mention of god arouses my indignation at fairy stories pretending to be true. That is clearly not your point.

It's time to meditate.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

beyond the beyond
and my voice spoke instantly
as i know you better
than none
you are most
excitingly friendly

loved

author comment

It is the cool of the evening here, and I think the last time I lost my temper was when I was about six.
I vowed even then as a child that I would not lose my temper again, if you saw it you would know why lol.
I test some and culture my mind set on many things and really haven't the energy to waste on a lost cause lol.
This is a good piece of writing trying to think where I have seen something similar..
It is my memories birthday tomorrow and it is a memory from June 6th 1944 and you will not believe me as I was only 2 years and three months old.
I can remember the aircraft filling the sky towing gliders with big white bands obviously under their wings, as I was very short in those days lol.
It is the first thing I can remember that I can put a date to.
Anyway I shall off and find my memories B/D piece to put on stream again, Take care young Bard, Yours Ian.T.

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

HAPPIEST BIRTHDAY IAN
6TH JUNE 1944
REMARKABLE MEMORY YOURS
YOU OUGHT TO GO DOWN
IN GUINESS BOOKS RECORDS

AS SCIENCE SAYS MAN CAN REMEMBER
ONLY AFTER THREE
YOU BEAT ME ..
HAPPPY BIRTHDAY IAN
FROM ALL NEO TO THEE

loved

author comment

It is 00-02am so I am off to bed, Yours Ian

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

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