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CONVERSATIONS WITH A MOUSE

You know, she said, the color orange is insincere
What an odd thing to say
I don't think you have made yourself quite clear
And I really wish you would go away

Red is loud, she continued, I don't like red
It celebrates itself in everyway
Red likes being red
What else can I say

And the beautiful blue of the peacock
is full of pride, you know
What a rude remark, I thought
But it is probably so

And what about you little mouse
Do you like your boring gray
Sneaking about my house
How long do you intend to stay

Finally I said, I like the color black
It makes everything go away
Oh, and do watch the trap just at your back
SNAP. See, what did I just say

Everything went black
And you went away
Funny that

Editing stage: 

Comments

thank you for your comments and help. did contact Andrew hoping for help. Linda

He who conquers self , has won a great battle

author comment

thank you for your comments and help. did contact Andrew hoping for help. Linda

He who conquers self , has won a great battle

author comment

Welcome again, eph is correct, he had problems as well,
I'm not sure what the problem is/was but if you would please
follow the instructions I left you in the greeting letter right away
I'm sure Andrew will be able to straighten it out. Be sure and let
him know the name on both accounts and that you have poetry
submitted to both so they will all be merged into one.

nice poem by the way and I agree with eph's crit.

glad you are back,

Richard

Thank you. I do not seem to be able to find your greeting letter so I can follow your directions. About half my screen is black. So frustrating, as I do not want to be in trouble here. Linda

He who conquers self , has won a great battle

author comment

That is your browser, please consider updating to
Google Chrome, Firefox or the new version of Internet
Explorer, I know google chrome and firefox are free to
download and they both work. After that, send me a
pm and let me know what is going on.

Richard

I think I know what you are talking about this black half screen
please try the following:_

 

Go to Tools on the menu bar
Find subtitle compatibility view
if it is checked remove the check sign.

Hope the black screen is removed. 

Please let me know

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

You are a genius, poof the black band is gone.Thank you so much!!!!!!

Linda

He who conquers self , has won a great battle

author comment

Nothing pleases me more than giving a hand. Very happy you've got rid of that awful screen. I think now you can go back to your account if it is not canceled.:)

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

But was lovely end- and unusual

for stopping by and commenting. I will read your profile and stive to know you.

Linda

He who conquers self , has won a great battle

author comment

A lovely write, and welcome back to Neo, it changes as the seasons,
I hope you like this workshop that it is now.
Even I have learnt a few things, but I have such a bad memory,
I can't tell you what,
But walking with all the others here is a beautiful journey, Yours Ian.T. (Yenti) & ( Sparrow)

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Good to hear from you again. I had written this thing in my mind the night before, and did not get up and put pen to paper, thinking I would remember. Guess what.
So I had to rewrite it, and I think I had a line of two that was better the night before But like you, I don,t remember what.

Thanks for your comments.Linda

He who conquers self , has won a great battle

author comment

Should you wander onto my face book page there you will find a mouse eating at one of my bird tables. I have three tables and they have strange visitors on the odd occasion (Ian Thomas Howard ) this name will bring you to my page, I am at the moment trying to put all my works, of many years, onto a site my Son made for me (yenti.co.uk ) one trouble with a site they become infested with spam so I must sort that out some time so that I can talk to others there, lovely to have you back on site..
Take care our thoughts go out to you,
Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

and I enjoyed this poem. The reflections on colours are delightful.
To me there is almost a childlike cruelty in the dialogue leading up to the snapped back, which tickled me.
I agree with Mr Crud, some judicious trimming would improve flow.

cheers,
Jess
Everything changes bar one. Neopoet's 'Prime Directive'-
"Critique don't comment".
https://www.neopoet.com/community-guidelines

It is good to be back, I went back and changed the line you mentioned. You are the third person that I respect that pointed out the need for better flow there. After reading it outloud a couple of times, I agreed.

thanks, Linda

He who conquers self , has won a great battle

author comment

talking to a mouse is indeed a creative idea.
Looking forward for more.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Rula, my husband said he though it was a little sick, what I did to the mouse. It had to be.

Linda

He who conquers self , has won a great battle

author comment
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