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CONNECTION LOST (voice mail from the grave)

Slowly walking along three and twenty creek
downstream from the old rice fields
feeling all my old bones creak
but I ignore their appeals.

Ahead are some old Indian mounds
where warriors lay at their last rest.
They recline there making no sounds
hearts long silent in their chests

A breeze builds as I draw near
and a rustle in the trees
like a herd of passing deer
or a quiet voice's tease.

I pause and sit to take a break
beneath an aged hickory
and rub my knees to ease their ache
in this place that's wild and free.

My gaze wanders all around
from creek bank to high tree tops
then alights on the Indian mounds
where it lingers and then stops.

Then beneath these ancient trees
whose rustling leaves sound like static
comes a sound that makes me freeze.
Static turns to voices with a click.

The voices come from those mounds.
Though Cherokee I understand.
Direct contact within the sounds.
They tell me tales about their land.

Tales of hunting buffalo.
Tales of being stalked by lions
Tales of watching their maise grow.
Tales of their living and their dyin'

And in the background soft drums beat
along with their long wooden flutes
in ranges of both slow and fleet.
Even through the old trees' roots.

The mixture produced visuals;
flashes of what used to be
how their lives were to them most usual.
I felt they were inside of me.

I rose then stepped on a dry limb
which ended the message with its crack.
Silence...no more messages from them.
I left quickly doubting I'd go back.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
A few notes. Three and Twenty creek is in the foothills of South Carolina . Indian mounds are the burial sites of Cherokee and other Indians. *PS I know I went beyond the line limit so I expect no reward
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

even if you exceeded the line limit, the poem feels like it was begging to be written/told! I much enjoyed this piece. it was both enchanting and haunting with a touch of magic. my favorite lines are:
The mixture produced visuals;
flashes of what used to be
how their lives were to them most usual.
I felt they were inside of me.

*hugs, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

I am pleased you enjoyed it. I never really know if anything I write is worth reading until I post it

author comment

are not as yet, a real contest, the line limit does not apply. Glad to see you writing and in the challenges. I particularly liked
the lines: "A breeze builds as I draw near
. and a rustle in the trees
. like a herd of passing deer
. or a quiet voice's tease.

Nicely done, ~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

When I first read the prompt I knew I wanted to write something on it. But I didn't want to write something typical then I thought about some Indian mounds nearby.....................

author comment

I applaud your literary mind. You scribble words at ease. Beautiful composition!

"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".

~Jackweb

But i do appreciate your dropping by for read

author comment

A lovely write. I am a big fan of Native American stories and culture and your poem captured their very essence beautifully. Well done.

~RoseBlack~

Thank you for dropping by. I collect native American arrow and spear point which I come across laying about. I even have written a few other poems about these people. Welcome to neopoet and holler if you run into any problems......stan

author comment
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