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Confidante
Home to umpteen secrets, witnessed over time
letting them all ease out, on soft cottony clouds
a cushion to cease the storms, raging of losing a war
through darkest of those hours, till the ammo runs out
on the cover are gentle strokes, of sunshine and rain
with rainbow that is lurking, behind cumulus clouds
like a bedfellow patiently waits, to comfort a loyal mate
to listen to the untold stories, only the two can share
first to wake each morning, from beneath the tousled hair
reading through the night, those vibrant poems saved
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Editing stage:
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Comments
Rula
Sat, 2018-06-23 16:07
Awesome
use of metaphor through out dear raj.
"Confident"
a typo maybe?
Lovely!
❤❤❤❤❤❤
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raj
Sat, 2018-06-23 16:27
Thanks for the read Rula...it
Thanks for the read Rula...it is Confidante meaning " with whom one shares a secret or private matter, trusting them not to repeat it to others" ...the muse came up while laying down my head before going night night...now can you figure out what this is all about? :)
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raj (sublime_ocean)
author commentRula
Sun, 2018-06-24 02:25
I thought
It's clear that it's the pillow or what else would "wake first
from beneath the tousled hair
reading through the night
those vibrant poems saved"
❤❤❤❤❤❤
Please follow me on Instagram
https://instagram.com/poetry.jo?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
raj
Sun, 2018-06-24 04:51
you thought it spot on Rula..
you thought it spot on Rula...i said what i said because you asked if Confidante is the correct word for the title or should it have been confidant...
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raj (sublime_ocean)
author commentlovedly
Sun, 2018-06-24 14:46
this poem speaks of
a pillow as the only witness see i knew it
when one is all alone
only a pillow
one does own
raj
Sun, 2018-06-24 14:23
Thanks Lovedly for the read..
Thanks Lovedly for the read.....but I must say you missed the theme...it's not about what you think it to be...
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raj (sublime_ocean)
author commentbrittle light
Sat, 2018-06-23 19:09
My take: firstly , pillow
My take: firstly , pillow talk, literally, the pillow becomes confidante
then secondly I thought, maybe the whole bed and blankets (comforters) too
and then thirdly, sleep
finally the the most meaningful one Dreams
it's got to be one of those or I will be totally bemused
once I know, I'll know if the poem conveyed what you intended
till, and if ever, it will cause some brain strain when reading.
that's poetry, sometimes enlightening, sometimes wtf to a reader
Al
raj
Sun, 2018-06-24 04:54
It is indeed about pillow Al.
It is indeed about pillow Al....personified as a Confidante which to most is the most personal belonging... thanks for the read and your comment..
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raj (sublime_ocean)
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