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The comely wench

A comely wench o' twenty three
from yonder village banburee,
alight her sight on poor auld me,
a poorly man wi' one bad knee,

She buxom be enough fer three,
her legs be thick as big oak tree,
but contrary to crippled me,
she sprightly be wi' two good knee.

As I took flight on that fateful night
from rutting comely wench,
I felt a pain, a twist, a strain,
and a gutting Rumley Wrench!
yon knee was spent
wi’ geat lament, she's upon me in a jiffy,
she made it clear, she said, “m’dear
I want yer little stiffy”

Now twenty three ‘tis not in years,
but sire, tis stones in weight,
and 'er on me wi one good knee
be too dire to contemplate,
but to my surprise, she got a rise
outa my little wrinkled pecker,
wi’ her big thighs and arse the size
o’ a Bleedin Double Decker!!


Editing stage: 
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Not Explicit Content


Drunk I be,
Jus' like thee,
me pecker's all a goggle
Tak me now
While I be free
From William Macgonagall

Fair comment !

I can confirm that I was rat arsed.


author comment

Doggy Paddle,,, (doggerel)

"feets, are the foundation
of our uprightedness,'
knees, are for the leanings
in advance of our fall.
hips, are for the twisting-
and swivelling of it all.
necks, keep our head up
in back stroke, or the crawl.


author comment

Your little ditty has made me smile. Thank you, I needed that! ~ Geez.

Writing purely for oneself, is the ultimate in defensive posture.


A couple of Q's:

What is a "banburee"

Is this an example of a Cockney Accent and speaking? If not, what is the manner of speaking?

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