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Come tomorrow .... (January contest)

Yesteryear, now all we own,
The year has newly turned;
The months, the seasons, now outgrown,
Are cast aside and burned.

Auld Lang Syne and midnight handshakes
Wave a fond farewell;
Icicles and frosty snowflakes
Cast their wintry spell.

But midnight is the witching hour
Anno domini;
As it strikes it holds the power
To bid our year goodbye.

Reflections on the days, bygone,
Can permeate the mind;
Nostalgia, driven on and on,
Melancholy of a kind.

But hark! the bells are ringing cheers
As morning drowns the night.
The moonlight gone, the sunlight nears,
So look! the future's bright.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
Contest: 

Comments

This is my maiden read of yours
You have never read me
But if you are able to accept a critique

Kindly find a more suitable word for
loot
perhaps
devour
may be
You may over rule me
without any apology
Alan

of your name I have many friends

I never really liked 'loots' so I have changed it. You have confirmed my suspicions though, so thank you.
It had to be single syllable though so I have to decline your kind and wise gift of 'devours'.
I will check out your work with pleasure.

.......................................
Critique is a compliment
Kind regards, Alan
.......................................

author comment

a good suggestion, [devours] the night would work well. However, if you wish to keep the [loots] do it without the apostrophe.
I would use a different ending on [newly] I think [newest] would work better. The ending of [ly] just doesn't sit right somehow.
I think it has something to do with the tenses. ~ Geezer.
.

Come to chat every Thursday - 3:30 to 4:30 pm. EST.
With: c Lynn Brooks and Geezer

for introducing me to the term 'yoda-speak' a while back.
I take on board your view re. 'newly year' and re worked it.
I'm glad that you paid me a visit.

.......................................
Critique is a compliment
Kind regards, Alan
.......................................

author comment

This is soooo much better now! Glad to help with the term "Yoda Speak." Not of my making, but a useful one. I am very glad that you took the time to rework this. Nice job, all the way around. ~ Geezer.
.

Come to chat every Thursday - 3:30 to 4:30 pm. EST.
With: c Lynn Brooks and Geezer

and your family Mark. Thank you for your encouraging words and expertise.
'To make an end is to make a beginning, the end is where we start from' ~ T.S. Eliot.

.......................................
Critique is a compliment
Kind regards, Alan
.......................................

author comment
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