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Come soon fair, mild, and early spring (February contest)

The oak and rowan slumber still
Reposing in their frosted bed;
Holding off the shivered chill
Dormant, docile, all but dead.
Skeletons drab against the blue
Leafless limbs up-reaching high,
Clothed in sleeves of frozen dew
Below them hidden secrets lie.

On the ground the snowdrops burst
Early risers of the year
Contending to be blooming first
A fleetly winter's end is near.
Premature, the sunlight's rays,
Icy stalactites eroding,
Tumbling down a spectrum haze
With leafy newborn buds exploding.

A feathered bird-throng fills the skies
With warbled wonder aforetime;
Showing up in sweet surprise
Stepping out before its prime.
And now a season, bright and bold,
Marches on afresh and new
Driving out the drizzled cold
As spring has sprung before her due.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 

Comments

oh what can I say you are a true poet you run circles around me This is just beautiful

Chrys

Chrys, for your welcome words. I tried to keep strictly within the theme 'early spring'. I may change the title later though, I tried to keep the title within the theme for the contest also but it is, perhaps, a little long.

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Critique is a compliment
Kind regards, Alan
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author comment

a little pretentious, but not overly so, given the language use and the theme.
The rhythm and pattern/pacing are great; just enough give to the verses, to lend them a little character.
It began and ended as a comprehensive piece of work depicting an early Spring. Very descriptive, nice job!
Oh, should there be only one [m] in spectrummed? It doesn't look right either way. ~Geezer .
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about the title Geezer. I'm glad you brought it up as it confirms what I think myself. I tried to keep it within the theme for the contest. When I am happy to include it in my own portfolio permanently It will have a different title.
Thanks for the positive and helpful critique.
'Spectrummed'? ~ no such word, I think, but, again, great that you touched on it for me. (sometimes I need a little help, sometimes we all do). I have, thankfully, amended that now to just 'spectrum'. Sounds okay to me now that I've lived with the poem a couple of days.
I enjoyed being challenged on this theme and it also spurned a sonnet which I just need to polish out the rough edges.

.......................................
Critique is a compliment
Kind regards, Alan
.......................................

author comment

to give a little help, [we all need it sometimes]. I make up words too. Wasn't outrageous, just curious to find the proper spelling. Glad you enjoyed the challenge and looking forward to that sonnet. ~ Geezer.
.

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They are a vital part of our community!
Critique or comment today!

Just enjoying the word play. A simple theme. No deep metaphors here, when poetry was about words as much as meaning in the romantic tradition. I’m sure it was pleasurably written in this world of tumult and chaos. You have clearly mastered the earlier poetic forms and mood

Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

of which I think you are a master Eumolpus. Thank you for your critique. I tried to keep it simple and flowing on. An early spring would be a happy time ~ not to complicated.

.......................................
Critique is a compliment
Kind regards, Alan
.......................................

author comment
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