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CLUNK

CLUNK
On the island of Clunk,
Where brass monkeys sell junk
And the people are all kept in zoos,
There's a strange sort of beast,
In a cave to the East,
Called the Enty-Magenty-Magoo

To describe him.... I'll try,
He's about the same size
As the Purple Big Boggy Badoo,
But unlike that giant duck,
He just roars, doesn't cluck,
Not the Enty-Magenty-Magoo .

As well as his size,
He's got real funny eyes,
For the one in the middle is blue,
Then a yellow and red
On each side of his head
And a green just above his left shoe.

But as well as strange eyes,
(He'd win no beauty prize),
Enty's almost as big as a whale.
Fat and green with white spots,
for a laugh he'd sink yachts,
Just by thrashing about with his tail.

This awful behaviour,
Left him with no saviour,
Nobody spoke up for the beast
So the king sent a sailor
Who'd worked on a whaler
With harpoon: "I want it deceased!"

From a cafe, my call
(Used the phone on the wall)
Resulted in Enty's surviving
For before they could shoot,
A harpoon in the brute,
They were halted by Greenpeace arriving!

But no matter how bad
His behaviour, it's sad
Because he is the only one, true.
There are no more others,
No sisters or brothers,
For the Enty-Magenty-Magoo.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
Although this poem is on the serious themes of biodiversity and global warming ( Oh, really!) If it makes you smile I'll be happy. Ian
Editing stage: 

Comments

I liked this, made me smile, nothing to crit, its very imaginitve, clever, technically good and topical, I love humorous poetry and like all humour it seems effortless but isn't.
much appreciated
ross

though I suspect this workshop is meant to deal with much longer, epic stuff.

Who gives a fuck? Beautifully written, you have the exquisite Scottish ear, it has humour and content.

Who could ask for more?

cheers,
Jess
Everything changes bar one. Neopoet's 'Prime Directive'-
"Critique don't comment".
https://www.neopoet.com/community-guidelines

'As well as his size,
He's got real funny eyes,
For the one in the middle is blue,
 Then a yellow and red
 On each side of his head
 And a green just above his left shoe.'
- very funny, well written in your usual stye ian

 you seem to have mixed the tense in his description at
‘ He was (is?) almost as big as a whale.
 and
 for a laugh he'd sank (he sinks?) yachts,
  - as you have used present tense in the previous stanzas

 I tripped on the rhythm slightly at
‘But unlike that giant duck,’
and also at
‘Because he is the only one, true.
 There are no more others,’

love the names - ‘Enty-Magenty-Magoo’ and ‘Purple Big Boggy Badoo’

an enjoyable read ian
thank you
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

suggestions by Judyanne welcomed and accepted

TIME FLIES LIKE AN ARROW, BUT FRUIT FLIES LIKE A BANANA

author comment

Before I read the other comments, I'll drop mine here. This is a lovely piece. The joy in me welled up on this stanza

"From a cafe, my call
(Used the phone on the wall)
Resulted in Enty's surviving
For before they could shoot,
A harpoon in the brute,
They were halted by Greenpeace arriving!"

As one who cannot make another laugh with good poetry, I must say your work is brilliant. I also noted the meter (to my yet untrained mind) felt mostly perfect, especially with the pattern you took. I thought that was awfully brilliant.

I only wish this poem could be longer, but as it stand now, it's an independent piece that will bring joy to the heart that reads it. Thanks for sharing.

No verse is free for the man who wants to do a good job. - TS Eliot

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