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The Clown. [June's Contest]

Mr. clown's house is always a mess;
he never finds his belongings
but he cares for the motley dress,
the red nose, and the tight-strings.

He came back late last night,
he was almost sleeping,
he wore the sandwiches at sight,
and ate the glasses he was wearing.

He missed the kitchen for the WC,
he switched off the toilet's light,
so he couldn't tell where to pee
till the sun is high with day-light.

When he decided to go to bed
he searched for his head, up'n down
Yet kept awake the whole night instead,
for he failed to find the sleeping-gown.

.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

your poem is quite comical, actually funny; it had me chuckling all the way throughout the read. No real nits, except that I would change the line "When he decided to lay a bed" to "When he decided to go to bed." Maybe replace "decided" with 'prepared.' Very cute poem, Rula.
Jerry

well I am pretty satisfied if I could give someone dear a chuckle. I always thought that writing something funny in a foreign/ second language the most difficult to do.
Much appreciate your kind suggestion. I edited as suggested.
I wonder if lay a bed is wrong... Have you read
Stevenson's "The Land of Counterpane?"
https://poets.org/poem/land-counterpane
and how is his first line different in meaning than mine?

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Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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author comment

Your clown is really funny and I applaud your sense of humor, which stands out here. Lying [a bed] is alright for a phrase, but it should be used as: [abed]. ~ Geezer.
.

Honest critique and comments shouldn't hurt.
It's why we are here, to get better at our craft.

Much appreciate the clarification and the words
of appreciation!
Highly appreciate it!

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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author comment

what a clown he must have really been
clowns are normally the best
circus beings
they save others
from unrest
and catch em
when they need arrest

another dear friend now is having a chuckle... Well I think this is my lucky day. Thank you for reading my humble piece.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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author comment

hope u will win
I am also trying

as the joker
comes out of me

lol what a clown, this is my favorite line "and ate the glasses he's wearing." made me laugh, has anyone actually done this, must be painful ---))

I think this our first time to meet. I think my clown is unique of his kind. He does what no other would do. I appreciate highly your kind visit. My pleasure .

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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author comment

I love your funny clown. lol such a wonderful theme

Just wanted to show you this line that could read clearer
He ate the glasses he was wearing.

I applaud your talent as I know English to be your second language. I know from personal experience how hard it is sometimes to express especially the funny stuff in a different language . You did it!

Thank you...Teddy

Thank you. I suspected that that line doesn't read well. I appreciate pointing it out.
Always appreciate your honesty :)

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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author comment

poor Mr. Clown he sure has his share of problems lol
very amusing to read

Let your mercy spill on all those
burning hearts in hell( L.Cohen)

Can't thank you enough for your kind words.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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author comment

A biography of me. How did you know all this?

.......................................
Critique is a compliment
Kind regards, Alan
.......................................

What the heck! You look much more like a tidy person for me, but there is nothing strange for such a talented poet, I think.^_^

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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author comment

Now that I call funny, poor clown. Well done dear Rula, my favorite june contest so far.

T

The most powerful reaction
of mind on mind
is transference of sight

My pleasure. I highly value your kind visit.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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author comment

so I shan't post
my 5.25 am poem
Rula have you read it
yet

Hi, Rula!
The topsy-turvy life of your clown! Thank you for the laugh!
L

I like the topsy turvy expression, first time to hear it, and yes this is my clown :)
Thank you for your time dear.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
www.instgram.com/rularules1

author comment

I Didn't visit your house last night lol.

but you were somewhere manipulating my clown.,,o:-)

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
www.instgram.com/rularules1

author comment
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