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Clinic

Submitted by Killer Bee on Thu, 2022-11-24 01:50

I feel a feeling most akin
Strange shievers sin
A baby skin
Withers within

I feel a feeling dangerous
To keep you here
My dear, my dear
I haven’t fear

I have a feeling, my feeling
Pushes my womb
In the backroom
Expectant cries

I have a feeling, a feeling
That unborn babies-
Are missed babies-
Last and most least

Style / type: 
Structured: Eastern
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Contest: 
Neopoem Of The Week Contest November 20th to 26th 2022
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Geezer

Sat, 2022-12-10 12:50

Geezer's picture
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I am making the correct interpretation on this one? I am of two minds about this. On one hand, I think that the mother is a bit relieved at the prospect of not having the baby, but still wonders if maybe her baby and others aren't missed; that it would become evident later? A proper mix of relief and regret. I felt the pain here, you made it happen. ~ Geezer.
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