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classic one :Remember just one thing

Submitted by lovedly on Wed, 2017-01-04 21:26

Remember just one thing

Should you forget
every moment of my life
I sacrificed for you,
the scooter rides
the car drives
the walks to the club
the mall and back

your security
every moment to moment
was always upper most in my mind
as always was and will be

but remember this
should you feel the age
the deafness
the disgust and frustration
deeply sunk

then remember this
ere you even think of forgetting me
I shall be lost by thee
lost into the wilderness
where you can never find me
and
then you will know
what and whom you have lost

Penniless
homeless
striving on the streets
of a no man’s land
you will find thyself

I will be no where
to caress
gone with the whistling wind
I will be far from thy remembrance
into the wilderness
man made as per your own creation

you will find hollowness
when I am nowhere now round
your security un-found.

But should you continue to love me
as before
Know this
I will still be at your beck and call
the fragrance of life
the sweetness of nectar
my Love will still be yours

just remember this
I am born for thee
So Love me....

In vein Of Pablo Neruda’s poem

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Esker

Fri, 2017-01-06 03:17

Esker's picture

Never read any of his work...
till now...Oh perhaps in passing
like the great stone weeping
with its moss
that soft mantle of memory
but then
the jagged court
where we played hard

Scooter rides!

flashback...I drove a 1962
vespa...friends parents had
some play money
well...they counted pennies
and spent them....They were
brilliant...fostered my broken
mind to something more out
of the box I never was in
anyway!!

I take it originally this was written
in another language

I remember the Vespa...
the wide handlebars
kick start it...shifter on the
right...rear brake on the
left...hand brake for the
front!! when it ran and
was liscened my friends
father could hit sixty
five miles an hour!

but then...I know this is
your poem Lovedly.
got your voice in it!

I remember all my friends
come and gone..
see their smiles...their
passion and grippe of the
day....its human
Their joys and toys..

I borrow styles of writing
also...Rebecca Godfrey
a lot! a canadian author
born of authors who wrote
a few books and seems
quiet these days...

I found this poem in the
coldest day yet to be
warming to the heart
Thank U Lovedly!

Mr Wolf!

lovedly

Fri, 2017-01-06 11:34

lovedly's picture

I found this poem in the
coldest day yet to be
warming to the heart
Thank U Lovedly!

author comment

Sparrow

Sat, 2017-01-07 18:39

Sparrow's picture
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A cry of an aged monarch, near afraid of a lonely future, if there be a future.
Save your fretting for your own sojourn young Bard.
My earth children sometimes call but no visits for a while.
Still I know they are fine or I would hear from them.
My Spirit Children are here with me always and a comfort no matter what, these I can rely on to be with me as I think of them, though most of them are out and about looking after my friends that have problems.
You wrote this very well and it was a joy to read, coming from my Bard it was to me a piece worthy of much praise.
Loved, the coffee has been sorted it was a lapse of memory, great to see you again.
Your glasses need to be changed are they that expensive out there in the bundoks.
Take care young Bard and I await your reply.
Yours as always, Ian..

.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

lovedly

Sun, 2017-01-08 10:30

lovedly's picture

''You wrote this very well and it was a joy to read,
coming from my Bard
it was to me
a piece worthy of much praise.'''

For the nth time
my morale does Ian ,
okay you...
RAISE with PRAISE..
from my memory
I shall never erase .

.now coffee please

author comment

Sparrow

Sun, 2017-01-08 11:25

Sparrow's picture
Volunteer badge

Roasted Kenya coffee beans, freshly ground, percolated with care, served with side jug of Jersey cream and a Wedgewood sugar bowl of Jamaican light brown sugar.
A cup and saucer from the same Wedgewood service.
Served on a Georgian silver tray, with a lace coaster from Belgium, and a serviette of hand made finest paper.

It is ready for you young Bard..

.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

lovedly

Sun, 2017-01-08 16:30

lovedly's picture

also read esker
ask him to bring his spoon
of pure silver
then I will be sure to live longer
and safer

many want to poison me
I also see
poor bard
that I be

okay non rhyme
grammar intact

that I am...

author comment

Esker

Sun, 2017-01-08 16:14

Esker's picture

always wear fresh new underwear!!
my mother was a nurse..she saw
much....underwear is important I guess!!
sadly mine are worn..
but...they give U nice diapers..
up here anyway!!

I love bone china....Yirgacheffee coffee..
dark roast....I had a silver spoon...
It tells U if someone is poisoning U!
I had bad paranoia for a time!!
and brown sugar is the way!
Expresso black with just a drizzle
of brown sugar...

Jamaican Rum.....

wandering..

thank U for poem which illicits
such fine comments about fine things..

Mr wolf!

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