Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Christmas Fear (DECEMBER 2020 CONTEST)

"I have a mission – a mission mine,
But I am running out of time.
The Past has passed and Present flown;
The New Year horns are almost blown,
And I am six days much too late,
So twines the yarn of ghoulish fate."

"Past and Present have little sway
In ranks of our Scrooge’s today.
People access Past through a phone,
The Present is another groan.
As for Future – they fear me still
For I yet have the strength to kill."

"So I fulfill this mission mine,
And as the last echoing chime
Of New Year’s eve has pealed away
A scream of black, utter dismay
Shrills through the night with “Please – please no!”
I cast a spell of sleep and go."

Upon a wind of silver-gray
The Ghosts of Christmas fade away
And rising to the atmosphere
They will there wait another year.
Future will need this year of dreams
To purge his mind of all the screams.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
1 - As the contest prompt says "Make your pick of one of the three ghosts that visited "Scrooge" on Christmas Eve." I was going to choose Marley's Ghost for a little mischievous twist, but eventually decided not to. Maybe I'll still write a poem about him, but it won't be an entry to this contest. :) 2 - I wasn't even going to enter this poem! But for Asche Keegan's enthusiastic support, "Christmas Fear" would never have dived into the Neo Stream. So many thanks to her for giving me the courage to toss this out there. XD
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content


And Merry Christmas to you!

"To reveal art and conceal the artist is art's true aim." Oscar Wilde

author comment

*bows once more before the Queen of Poetry*

*gives abbreviated gushiness of the first viewing*

A M A Z I N G ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! :D :D :D :D

"The true alchemists do not turn lead into gold; they turn the world into words." -William H. Gass

Stop calling me Queen of Poetry. XD This monarch's head is swelling too big for her crown.
But thank you, again, for convincing me to post this. :)

"To reveal art and conceal the artist is art's true aim." Oscar Wilde

author comment

I can't believe that you needed to be prodded into posting this one! Thank you Asche! You are a great friend to Thal, and to us for getting her to post this. Nice work Thal. I like the title; it brought me in. Your language use is just right, [reminding me of earlier times] with the slightly Victorian mode of speaking. Just one little nit, the line that says: " And I am six days much too late" Seems a tiny bit off. How about: "And I am six days, so very late" ? All-in-all, a great poem that is on equal footing with any in the contest. ~ Geez.

It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?

Asche is the best, and a great friend in more than just poetry. :)
And thank you! Both for reading, commenting, and enjoying.
I agree that the line you mentioned does feel a little off. I will consider your suggestion and seek out a way to fix the flaw.

"To reveal art and conceal the artist is art's true aim." Oscar Wilde

author comment

Really nice piece!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I am a stickler for rhythm. Glad you enjoy it.
And Merry Christmas.

"To reveal art and conceal the artist is art's true aim." Oscar Wilde

author comment
(c) No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.