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Chocolate Men

Submitted by sueb on Tue, 2013-02-12 07:01

Men are like chocolates
some to soft, some to hard
some sweet and tasty
some dark and nasty
I’ve tried a few in my time
on some I wouldn’t spend a dime
I like the ones that melt in my mouth not in my hand
add a few nuts, yummm, that’s grand
men are like chocolates
some flavoursome, some not

Style / type:

Structured: Western

Review Request (Intensity):

I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing stage:

Editing - rough draft

Comments

Rula

Tue, 2013-02-12 12:58

Line 2

too soft , too hard?

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sueb

Tue, 2013-02-12 14:08

thanks x

author comment

scribbler

Tue, 2013-02-12 15:34

Hi Sue

Are you saying a hard man is good to find?...................stan

sueb

Tue, 2013-02-12 20:08

yes definitely lol x

author comment

Frenchf

Wed, 2013-02-13 00:08

Very nice

Do you need those too's in line 2
Some soft some hard

sueb

Wed, 2013-02-13 05:23

your right must get rid of

your right must get rid of the too's or the somes thanks a mil x

author comment

loved

Wed, 2013-02-13 06:50

too hard ...too soft

chocolates just melt in the mouth
the tongue has to be sweet ...
it must have the force to slice
men's chocolates are hard too
if solid men have been seen by you..

loved

sueb

Wed, 2013-02-13 07:48